the prayer wall

in san francisco- i had a prayer wall.  well, it was a prayer door- the door from the kitchen to the laundry room and the prayers were only names scribbled on sticky notes and stuck on the door.  it wasn't beautiful or old or full of tradition and meaning, but it was still a very important place in my home.   it was sacred- because people are sacred.

it worked well because the door was in the kitchen where much of life takes place and so as i cut vegetables, or washed dishes or emptied washers or unloaded groceries or fed a baby or made coffee- i prayed for the people or the issues stuck on the wall. also, as soon as i told someone i was praying for them- i would stick up their name- so i wouldn't forget - because otherwise i would have.

the thing about prayer is- i believe in it.  really.  i mean i fully believe that God wants to hear from us- even if it's repetitive whining- even if it's angry- even if it's only "help" or even if we are only praying it in our heart.  i also believe that we should pray for each other- often- and even together and sometimes out loud.

i come from a long line of pray-ers.  i mean people who really connect with God- as in- it's pretty clear that they have some sort of a direct line-my mother, my grandfather, and i think zoe.   my mom was famous for the "stop, drop and pray." really, anything that was bothering me, or her, or anyone- including people delivering a package or mowing the lawn who she'd been conversing with, she would say, "well let's just stop and pray right now."  i never heard anyone turn her down.


now.  i am not a great pray-er.  i don't have the gift of eloquence- i don't chose to pray out loud in situations when people are invited to pray out loud.  i prefer to pray quietly or rather silently- unless i'm in my car- which is why i was so thankful when the hands free device was invented so i stopped looking like a crazy person in the car- now people think i'm on the phone.

i actually think that the worse the prayer- perhaps the more God listens- because She knows she needs to.  mike and i have a running joke about the "GAAD we just...." prayer style.  "Gad we just want to thank you- we just want to praise you and we just..."  i mean what is with the "just"? as in "sorry to bother you- but we just..." heck no- i want to more than bother God- i want to beg him to DO SOMETHING usually- so i don't say "just".

i guess for me, prayer happens more when i lower the expectations (again this comes in handy).  when i feel okay saying a short, "please help ..... whoever's name i see on the wall"- because really God knows the rest. 

sometimes people would come over and ask what the deal was with all the sticky notes- and i'd explain and then they'd say something like, "where is my name?" or "why is my name on there twice?" or "why isn't my name on there?" people wanted to be on wall- they wanted to be prayed for- cared for- thought of.

it's time to bring back the prayer wall.

the problem is that things don't stick to my walls or doors here- so i'm having to get creative.  instead of a prayer wall or door- i'm going to have names and issues sprinkled around my house on sticky notes- on glass windows and bathroom mirrors and refrigerators and washing machines and dryers.  i will write the names of those who ask, or who are in need, or hurting, or sad, or really happy, or searching, or hungry, or cold, or sick, or trying, or lonely or tired- whether they believe or not.

because i do, and people are sacred, especially to God.