"advent is for the ones who know longing." i know longing. i know longings. i'm living there. in places of yearning for.
Christmas is in 2 days. advent is ending. the longing over. but is it?
i'm so ready for that. i'm ready for endings. i'm ready for beginnings.
today in church, under the round wood ceiling, in the glow of stained glass, looking at the creche, on my knees, God knew. He knew about the longing, all my longings and i was reminded again of abundance. of promises and histories. That God isn't either/ or. God is both/ and. God isn't asking me to chose between what's best for zoe or what's best for my other kids. He doesn't ask that. He asks me to hold the longing longer. to wait more. to trust even though.
He doesn't just lead out of deserts. He leads into green pastures. lands of milk and honey.
He doesn't just lead out of darkness. He leads into light.
He doesn't just lead out of the valley. He leads to the mountain top.
i have been lead from the parched desert; and the dark darkness; and deep lonely valleys. and i have been guided to lush high places of stillness and dancing.
i am somewhere between- and that's what longing is. i can see back to last year. my girl was 8,000 miles away on Christmas, i could only see either/ or. moving pieces everywhere. fear. valleys. we have come so far. there is a both/ and. there are options. i can see that now. i can embrace this. i can remember.
i can hold the longing longer. but
“Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.”
―
Christmas is in 2 days. advent is ending. the longing over. but is it?
i'm so ready for that. i'm ready for endings. i'm ready for beginnings.
today in church, under the round wood ceiling, in the glow of stained glass, looking at the creche, on my knees, God knew. He knew about the longing, all my longings and i was reminded again of abundance. of promises and histories. That God isn't either/ or. God is both/ and. God isn't asking me to chose between what's best for zoe or what's best for my other kids. He doesn't ask that. He asks me to hold the longing longer. to wait more. to trust even though.
He doesn't just lead out of deserts. He leads into green pastures. lands of milk and honey.
He doesn't just lead out of darkness. He leads into light.
He doesn't just lead out of the valley. He leads to the mountain top.
i have been lead from the parched desert; and the dark darkness; and deep lonely valleys. and i have been guided to lush high places of stillness and dancing.
i am somewhere between- and that's what longing is. i can see back to last year. my girl was 8,000 miles away on Christmas, i could only see either/ or. moving pieces everywhere. fear. valleys. we have come so far. there is a both/ and. there are options. i can see that now. i can embrace this. i can remember.
i can hold the longing longer. but
“Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.”
―
