last night, mike and i, accidentally and thankfully got our date. my mom, bless her, took the kids. we were able to regroup, focus on each other and enjoy a good meal with no preparation and no clean up- and no interruptions. it's the little things.
the whole weekend we'd felt like we were losing the battle with the kids. too much negative and not enough positive. we were questioning our expectations and their obedience. we were questioning our ability to raise people who will contribute to to humanity, or even just live independently and say 'please' and 'thank you'.
while we were out- i read a story forwarded to my email by my sister. it was beautiful and poignant and full of wisdom about parenting- but also, life in general.
so much of what we do, especially as mothers, goes unnoticed, un-thanked and even unappreciated. if the meal is acknowledged, it's because it's too spicy, or someone 'hates' chicken. we try to get them to a birthday party for their friend and it's a problem because they want to finish building the lego house first. it can feel like all we do is listen to complaining, answer questions over and over again, say "no", and never finish a sentence, a phone conversation, or a trip to the 'potty', with out being interrupted.
in the story a woman, who was tired and feeling 'invisible', who was feeling lost in the caring of others, is given a book about european cathedrals. the inscription is about how much the book's giver values what this woman is doing as a mother, behind the scenes, when no one is looking.
and this mother, as she reads this book, comes to see why it was given to her. no one knows the names of those who built the great cathedrals. the builders spent their lives working on something they'd never even see finished. they made great sacrifices and expected no credit. the passion for their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
and she remembered that the things we do selflessly can create everlasting beauty. the sacrifice for a greater good can transcend time. process matters. trusting the final outcome- when you can only see one small piece of the wall- allows completion.
in the cathedral book, it tells of a man who was carving a bird into a beam, high up in the roof area. someone asked him why he was spending so much time on a detail that would be covered up, and hidden. 'because God sees it' he said.
and the woman realized who her audience should be. she realized the smallness of each builder- yet the magnitude of the work they did. and in this, she was renewed, she saw her passion ignite. she realized she is building cathedrals. it's not about being thanked for the meal, or the ride to the birthday party, it's about investing in the character of her children. it's about them feeling loved and valued. it's about who they are becoming- how she is carving them into the men and women that God wants them to be.
mike and i read it and were moved. we were stirred by the notion- perhaps most of all- of carving the bird. of doing what you do, what ever it is, because it is pure and beautiful, because you are creating something that if no one else sees it, is seen by God. because it's not about product, but process. because the small things do matter.
it was exactly what we needed to remember. these gifts given to us deserve our faithful attention, our endurance, our full effort, our patience.
so, find your cathedral, and carve your bird. and as the email concluded, remember-
"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
the whole weekend we'd felt like we were losing the battle with the kids. too much negative and not enough positive. we were questioning our expectations and their obedience. we were questioning our ability to raise people who will contribute to to humanity, or even just live independently and say 'please' and 'thank you'.
while we were out- i read a story forwarded to my email by my sister. it was beautiful and poignant and full of wisdom about parenting- but also, life in general.
so much of what we do, especially as mothers, goes unnoticed, un-thanked and even unappreciated. if the meal is acknowledged, it's because it's too spicy, or someone 'hates' chicken. we try to get them to a birthday party for their friend and it's a problem because they want to finish building the lego house first. it can feel like all we do is listen to complaining, answer questions over and over again, say "no", and never finish a sentence, a phone conversation, or a trip to the 'potty', with out being interrupted.
in the story a woman, who was tired and feeling 'invisible', who was feeling lost in the caring of others, is given a book about european cathedrals. the inscription is about how much the book's giver values what this woman is doing as a mother, behind the scenes, when no one is looking.
and this mother, as she reads this book, comes to see why it was given to her. no one knows the names of those who built the great cathedrals. the builders spent their lives working on something they'd never even see finished. they made great sacrifices and expected no credit. the passion for their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
and she remembered that the things we do selflessly can create everlasting beauty. the sacrifice for a greater good can transcend time. process matters. trusting the final outcome- when you can only see one small piece of the wall- allows completion.
in the cathedral book, it tells of a man who was carving a bird into a beam, high up in the roof area. someone asked him why he was spending so much time on a detail that would be covered up, and hidden. 'because God sees it' he said.
and the woman realized who her audience should be. she realized the smallness of each builder- yet the magnitude of the work they did. and in this, she was renewed, she saw her passion ignite. she realized she is building cathedrals. it's not about being thanked for the meal, or the ride to the birthday party, it's about investing in the character of her children. it's about them feeling loved and valued. it's about who they are becoming- how she is carving them into the men and women that God wants them to be.
mike and i read it and were moved. we were stirred by the notion- perhaps most of all- of carving the bird. of doing what you do, what ever it is, because it is pure and beautiful, because you are creating something that if no one else sees it, is seen by God. because it's not about product, but process. because the small things do matter.
it was exactly what we needed to remember. these gifts given to us deserve our faithful attention, our endurance, our full effort, our patience.
so, find your cathedral, and carve your bird. and as the email concluded, remember-
"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
