“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”
― Alexander Pope
it's twilight and i have escaped outside to the porch. i have left the dinner table where we were listening to chet baker and eating by candlelight. i was try to create an atmosphere of a pleasant and subdued reality, which is so not my reality. it worked a bit, but not really.
it's the second week of school vacation and today i was acutely reminded again of the great value in lowering expectations. i mean we set ourselves up for disappointment. we create our own scenario for which to watch our lives not live up to. this is especially true for parents. basically what every new parent should plan on is the following:
-someone will wet their bed at least weekly for next ten years- so instead of being upset when it's wet, be excited when it's dry.
-when you go to the pool, you will not read that book that you brought. instead it will get wet, as will your shoes and your clothes and the crackers and pretty much everything else- so don't be surprised, don't even let it phase you.
-the car is the perfect place for children to fight because they are only partially restrained and sitting way to close each other not to. so don't be surprised when they poke each other and whack each other. don't expect to listen to that podcast or to the new mix you made for your long car ride on the ipod. just be amazed if you hear anything other than yourself yelling at the members in the back seat.
-even if they like where they are going, it takes a long time to get your kids to complete the morning tasks required to get there- so let it go. you will be late, so embrace it. let it go that it even matters, and enjoy the chaos, because it's not going away.
- when you order food at the pool, someone will always change their mind after the food comes and cry about it. you will want to say that they definitely ordered that hot dog, and that the people living right outside that pool gate would love to eat that hotdog, but it won't matter, they will still want your fish and chips, so just switch and know that in 15 years you can eat what you want again.
-expect that the new puppy will poop on the porch ever night, so just be thrilled when he doesn't, instead of upset when he does.
-don't bother that you will have to repeat yourself a million times a day, especially if you have a child with special needs, to get them to complete simple tasks. instead, just jump for joy if you only have to ask twice.
-don't plan on ever having 5 minutes alone in the bathroom, they always know you are in there, and that is always when they need you. this is true for phone calls (especially long distance ones) and writing, or pretty much anything you are trying to do in an uninterrupted fashion. so enjoy their company because maybe someday- you'll miss their constancy.
-it's normal for siblings to make fun of each other. you did it too. so when they come up with the absurd name calling, use it as an opportunity to gently teach them about kindness and treating others how you want to be treated, then go away and laugh because some of the names are pretty funny, and you might have 1 minute before they find you.
-remember that even though it's their vacation, it's absolutely not your vacation. in fact its actually the opposite of vacation- it's way more work. so suck it up and remember that in 4 days they go back to school and you can complete your thought and finish your conversation and drink your coffee while it's still hot, and then be so excited when they come back at the end of the day.
see if we start low, we are pleased. it we start high, we are disappointed. it's all about the expectations.
― Alexander Pope
it's twilight and i have escaped outside to the porch. i have left the dinner table where we were listening to chet baker and eating by candlelight. i was try to create an atmosphere of a pleasant and subdued reality, which is so not my reality. it worked a bit, but not really.
it's the second week of school vacation and today i was acutely reminded again of the great value in lowering expectations. i mean we set ourselves up for disappointment. we create our own scenario for which to watch our lives not live up to. this is especially true for parents. basically what every new parent should plan on is the following:
-someone will wet their bed at least weekly for next ten years- so instead of being upset when it's wet, be excited when it's dry.
-when you go to the pool, you will not read that book that you brought. instead it will get wet, as will your shoes and your clothes and the crackers and pretty much everything else- so don't be surprised, don't even let it phase you.
-the car is the perfect place for children to fight because they are only partially restrained and sitting way to close each other not to. so don't be surprised when they poke each other and whack each other. don't expect to listen to that podcast or to the new mix you made for your long car ride on the ipod. just be amazed if you hear anything other than yourself yelling at the members in the back seat.
-even if they like where they are going, it takes a long time to get your kids to complete the morning tasks required to get there- so let it go. you will be late, so embrace it. let it go that it even matters, and enjoy the chaos, because it's not going away.
- when you order food at the pool, someone will always change their mind after the food comes and cry about it. you will want to say that they definitely ordered that hot dog, and that the people living right outside that pool gate would love to eat that hotdog, but it won't matter, they will still want your fish and chips, so just switch and know that in 15 years you can eat what you want again.
-expect that the new puppy will poop on the porch ever night, so just be thrilled when he doesn't, instead of upset when he does.
-don't bother that you will have to repeat yourself a million times a day, especially if you have a child with special needs, to get them to complete simple tasks. instead, just jump for joy if you only have to ask twice.
-don't plan on ever having 5 minutes alone in the bathroom, they always know you are in there, and that is always when they need you. this is true for phone calls (especially long distance ones) and writing, or pretty much anything you are trying to do in an uninterrupted fashion. so enjoy their company because maybe someday- you'll miss their constancy.
-it's normal for siblings to make fun of each other. you did it too. so when they come up with the absurd name calling, use it as an opportunity to gently teach them about kindness and treating others how you want to be treated, then go away and laugh because some of the names are pretty funny, and you might have 1 minute before they find you.
-remember that even though it's their vacation, it's absolutely not your vacation. in fact its actually the opposite of vacation- it's way more work. so suck it up and remember that in 4 days they go back to school and you can complete your thought and finish your conversation and drink your coffee while it's still hot, and then be so excited when they come back at the end of the day.
see if we start low, we are pleased. it we start high, we are disappointed. it's all about the expectations.
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