lately i've been finding myself asking people who i meet, how long they are staying. this is because so many people are leaving- or will leave- like this is just a chapter in a long book- a way station- a place between.
lately this has been making me sad because saying goodbye is hard. it makes you question your own staying, and what you're doing here anyway. so i've begun to prepare myself right from the start.
the other day i was talking to a friend who i don't know too well about their plans- as if it's a gauge on how much to invest in the friendship. she said they were leaving in two years. she said that after two years she gets antsy anyway and is ready for a change. on one hand i get that. but what about roots? what about digging in? what about community? and friendship? and commitment?
she had a great answer.
she said she has incredibly solid friendships that she holds onto and takes with her. she prioritizes keeping in touch with those people in life who are her roots. her supports. her community is mobile. she said as long as she has a small group of people she enjoys being with where ever she is-she is fine. she doesn't need to put down deep roots and rip them up again every two years. she puts down enough to keep her from floating away- but they're easily pulled when it's time to go. she stays connected to the people she connected with- from all over the world.
i was imagining her beautiful collection- full of different places, and languages and times in her life. and it made sense in a new way - there can be depth and richness- maybe even more of it.
i've met so many interesting people in the past 9 months- some of whom i've known only briefly but have left me with a gem, a piece of wisdom, or a memory that will stay with me. others are still here enriching my life often, sharing this crazy space and time with me. some who i know will become my roots too, where ever i land.
lately this has been making me sad because saying goodbye is hard. it makes you question your own staying, and what you're doing here anyway. so i've begun to prepare myself right from the start.
the other day i was talking to a friend who i don't know too well about their plans- as if it's a gauge on how much to invest in the friendship. she said they were leaving in two years. she said that after two years she gets antsy anyway and is ready for a change. on one hand i get that. but what about roots? what about digging in? what about community? and friendship? and commitment?
she had a great answer.
she said she has incredibly solid friendships that she holds onto and takes with her. she prioritizes keeping in touch with those people in life who are her roots. her supports. her community is mobile. she said as long as she has a small group of people she enjoys being with where ever she is-she is fine. she doesn't need to put down deep roots and rip them up again every two years. she puts down enough to keep her from floating away- but they're easily pulled when it's time to go. she stays connected to the people she connected with- from all over the world.
i was imagining her beautiful collection- full of different places, and languages and times in her life. and it made sense in a new way - there can be depth and richness- maybe even more of it.
i've met so many interesting people in the past 9 months- some of whom i've known only briefly but have left me with a gem, a piece of wisdom, or a memory that will stay with me. others are still here enriching my life often, sharing this crazy space and time with me. some who i know will become my roots too, where ever i land.
1 comment:
I am horrible at saying goodbye and I don't handle it well when people leave. I love that response though and I truly wish I could be more like that.
I can only imagine in the missionary world how much more magnified that is.
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