special

i accidentally stumbled upon a wave of young-female-christian-hip-mommy-type bloggers.  i landed on one because someone posted a quote that i loved- that spoke to me- that had me wanting for more- so i googled her (sarah bessey).  from there i was led to a many more women writing about real and powerful and simple things.  women 10 years younger than me, women with harder lives then me, with more loss, and more love, and more faith and more 'followers'.  women who'd written books and guest blogged here, there and everywhere, and had monthly and weekly columns in places that they didn't start.

and i'll be honest.
i felt small.  in fact tiny.  and kind of old too. and certainly not very special.

but it made me realize that i LOVE to show up here and write.  it might even be my favorite thing to do- even if my writing resume is small and insignificant- even if i never write anywhere else ever- even if i never win any blog awards- and never have a twitter account- and never figure out how to have 'save the world' buttons on my side bar. 

this is what i love and so i'll do it.  this is where i want to be.

this is what we all need to do- to do what we love, what we're called into, what speaks to us.  we need to be where we feel most real, to live into the things we are trying to become, to share it, and grow with each other (whoever our 'each other' is).  we need to embrace the beauty of our small lives- to paint or write or talk or sing or plant or knit our way together.  and whether we have autistic kids or ones we've buried- or picket fences or barbed wire- or busy careers or too many hours- or partners we love, or ones who've betrayed us- we are not that different.  we are all that special.