washing the feet

 today is holy thursday, the day before good friday, the day of the last supper, the day that Jesus washed the feet of those who followed him.


as i sat outside in the coolness of the morning after a night rain and read the story, i was most struck by the part about peter.  because i'm like peter. 

Jesus is kneeling before him, with the basin of water, lifting his very dirty feet and peter says 'no'.  peter refuses the gift, the sacrifice, the humility of his Lord.  he thinks he's doing the right thing, playing the right card, that his will be the right response, maybe this is a test to see which disciple will turn and wash Jesus's feet instead. 


but.


he is wrong.  Jesus says 'unless I wash  your feet, you can have no part of me.' 


this is hard to wrap my mind around.  shouldn't we be doing the washing?  shouldn't we be doing the bending?  shouldn't we be on our knees with a basin in hand?  shouldn't we be caring for others needs first? 

this is where peter is going, where i usually go, but it's out of order.  Jesus says 'wait', 'not yet'.

before we can wash the feet of others, we need to accept our need to have our feet washed- our submission to this is humility, not the other way around.  allowing the gentleness, embracing the gift of our feet being washed by Jesus, is the beginning of transformation. 


then we know we are deeply loved, even with dirty feet.  we know God isn't afraid of our messes, not afraid to put his hands on the yucky parts.  and this is fantastic because my feet are usually dirty, especially here, and they are often tired.  because most of us walk a lot and our feet take us places and sometimes they take us to places we shouldn't be, and we get muddy or bruised or even bloody or stung by hairy caterpillars.  because sometimes we are embarrassed about our feet, or where they've been.

but. 

He doesn't care.  He wants to wash them all.  that is what Easter is about- accepting the gift, the gentleness, the sacrifice- even and especially with our very dirty feet.