unpeel and enjoy

sometimes you have to go with second best.  that's life.  sometimes when you go with second best,  you discover that what you think you wanted, might not be exactly what you wanted.  or that what you think you wanted is just a facade for the real deal which meets the same need but might look different.

i wanted the tea fields today.  i wanted to leave my yard, walk through campus, and land in those clear, bright endless tea fields.  but there aren't any tea fields in walking distance.  so i felt badly for about 5 minutes and then put on my sneakers, grabbed some water and headed out the door.  i walked through campus and out the side gate and up 'monkey hill' or 'prayer hill' - i'm not sure which it's really named, but both fit as i saw lots of monkeys and did lots of walking and talking with God. 

i missed the tea fields because i was longing for alone time.  i wanted an hour of solitude.  i wanted to walk for a long while with few people and think about the day- i wanted to feel the outside on my arms, to feel my body moving on the earth- because that is the way i settle my brain.  i didn't need the tea for that- i just needed a path and some quiet.  so i walked and i listened and many of the sounds were the same and what i was hearing pretty clearly was 'isn't this enough?'  'am I enough?' 'is what i've given you enough?'

yes.  it is enough.  but i sometimes forget that.  i have grand ideas or memories or desires and i forget the gracious provision i live.

the tea fields were just one example.  a reminder to stop looking for what i think i want or need- to allow the pieces of my life, or my backyard, to be enough.  to keep it simple, just go for a walk, there doesn't need to be any 'missing'.  the things we need are usually all around us- so let's un-peel them and enjoy!