days like this

today was one of those days.  the kind that starts in complete confusion.  i woke up and had no idea what day it was or what i was supposed to be doing.  i must have been having a really good dream.

mike said it's monday and we need to get up and get jude off to school.  i was pretty sure he was wrong and that i should go back to sleep- but he was right.

the stuff i'd planned to get done today had to take a back seat to dealing with our neighbors tree that had fallen over onto our fence and was dangling over our yard.  to make it more challenging, the tree is actually in an old 'alley' between our yards- not really on my neighbors property. so i had to call the city parks and recreation department.  but they aren't responsible for trees in city alleys.  they aren't responsible for the trees that fall down on their property if it's an alley.  and it was all matter of fact, as if it's OK that we're not allowed to build a fence in that alley, but they don't have to dispose of fallen trees.

zoe was slow.  and i was trying.  i was deep breathing.  i was remembering patience.  i was envisioning the view from the sky.  we were trying to do copy work and finish breakfast and get the teeth brushed and the hair combed and things that should take 5 minutes were taking 30- and i could feel the temperature rising.  then  i punctured my fingertip trying to put the rubber band on her braces. it really hurt and it still does and i was trying to just be patient and not get mad that my finger hurt and not get mad that she can't put her own darn rubber bands on-because i know she can't.

i had an appointment at the apple store to learn how to use their software to make brochures and envelopes and form letters- to try to maximize our communication with people while we're living in Africa.  while there i got a missed call from a pharmacy telling me that my license to prescribe certain medications had expired.  great.  another road block in my day.  i spent hours calling various federal agencies to try to figure out my standing.  super.

i'm also working on an application for medical school loan repayment while in Uganda, so i had to call all my loan companies and find out how many more payments were left.  i had to call my medical school and find out how much it cost per year to go there.  so i must have said and spelled my name 400 times and given my address and my phone number and my social security number and my email and pushed "1" to continue in english another 50 times.  all while various children are wanting to explain their beautiful pictures, or ask if they can eat more easter candy, or argue over who likes which dolly parton song.

it just left me feeling like life was backwards.  i wanted to look at the pictures.  i wanted to eat candy with them and listen to dolly parton and not give my information over and over in the same conversation.

i had annoying errands to run.  returning the wrong printer ink i bought, with out the receipt, while trying not to get annoyed that it costs more to replace the ink than buy the printer.  a new toothbrush and some mouthwash for zoe.  things you don't want to go do and things you don't want to spend money on.  and while we're at the store, zoe begins her 'i just want the 'polly pockets' doll from that painful target dollar bin.  that micro-aisle where old stuff made in china lands to tempt all children and because it's so cheap, ends up in our houses where we then curse it, because it's left somewhere and we have to either pick it up or holler at the kids to pick it up.

when we got back in the car, i decided to make it a teachable moment.
'zoe, i understand that you think it's cute.  there are lots of things i think are cute, but i don't buy everything- so why do you think that is?'
'i don't know.'
'well take a guess.'
'because you don't have that much time.'
'no, it's not really about time.'
'oh, because you don't have that much money.'
'true.  that is part of it.  but even if i did have all that money- i still wouldn't buy everything because we have to be careful with our money.  we need to be responsible with it- we need to think about other people.' 

i went into what i thought was great example of what it costs to buy one starbucks small latte every day- and how that adds up to about 84 $ / month and how that money could be better spent on someone who needs something.  and that need is different then want.  that need trumps want.

she said she got it.  but then started bemoaning me for not letting her buy the one dollar polly pockets doll.

ugghhhh!

we got bryn and came home for me to spend more time on the phone with the federal drug administration.

got jude.
got caught in a rain storm on the way home.
someone got a bloody knee.

i still don't know how much my medical school tuition was per year.
'it's been archived'
'what does that mean?'
'basically, that it's gone'
great.

my dea number did expire, two years ago!

but they did let me exchange my expensive printer ink. i even got 5 dollars in change. enough to buy a polly pockets and a latte.

but i won't.

everyone decided they like 'he's alive' best on the dolly parton cd.

and i've developed this habit of letting the kids watch a show and sitting out on my back porch with a cold glass of wine and potato chips (the gourmet ones- not 'lays', ok- so they're still chips- but i picked it up in italy).

so here i am sitting.
and....it's just a day.