last night we watched the woody allen movie 'match point'. i like his movies- not all of them- but many. i like how they start with just a simple black background with the white letters of the actors names- like a play- and the music. i like being transported to beautiful places i don't live and meeting characters i wouldn't ever hang out with. i like the consistency of the theme- it starts with a relevant quote and ends on the same theme. i don't usually share woody allen's philosophies - like last nights movie about luck- life and it's outcome is all about luck. but i think most of life, even in the movie, is about choices.
as i watched the names float up across the screen- it reminded me of all the names i will never name my children who will never be- because i've already had them. which made me think of all the places i will never live, and the languages that i will never speak, and the jobs i will never have- because i've made choices. which made me think of this part in a ts eliot poem:
'What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind.'
different paths and passage ways- those taken and those not- end us where we are, who we are.
two roads diverge in a yellow wood..... it's all the same idea.
and now that my path is diverging i'm measuring out my days with coffee spoons- or anything else that comes my way- 2 more zoe social groups before we leave, one more season at the pool, two more yoga seasons, no more halloweens (i hope). life becomes timed out in relation to when we leave- when the twirling world shifts again- in a big way. it's so exciting. it's so scary. it's so surreal. it's so going to become real.
yesterday zoe's copy work was a quote from winnie the pooh-
'how lucky am i to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.'
i love that. life is good. the many coffee spoons that i'm measuring with and saying goodbye to, are good.
as i watched the names float up across the screen- it reminded me of all the names i will never name my children who will never be- because i've already had them. which made me think of all the places i will never live, and the languages that i will never speak, and the jobs i will never have- because i've made choices. which made me think of this part in a ts eliot poem:
'What might have been and what has been
Point to one end, which is always present.
Footfalls echo in the memory
Down the passage which we did not take
Towards the door we never opened
Into the rose-garden. My words echo
Thus, in your mind.'
different paths and passage ways- those taken and those not- end us where we are, who we are.
two roads diverge in a yellow wood..... it's all the same idea.
and now that my path is diverging i'm measuring out my days with coffee spoons- or anything else that comes my way- 2 more zoe social groups before we leave, one more season at the pool, two more yoga seasons, no more halloweens (i hope). life becomes timed out in relation to when we leave- when the twirling world shifts again- in a big way. it's so exciting. it's so scary. it's so surreal. it's so going to become real.
yesterday zoe's copy work was a quote from winnie the pooh-
'how lucky am i to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.'
i love that. life is good. the many coffee spoons that i'm measuring with and saying goodbye to, are good.
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