Merry Christmas!

always.
even on christmas eve with a migraine.
even when zoe is flapping in a circle because i corrected her pronunciation of 'vibrato'.
even when someone's just lost a parent or husband or child and this is their first christmas with that stinging absence.
even when people are fleeing their homes, leaving everything, just to live.
even in the middle of all the pain.
even in the middle of the beauty.
even as the birds sing. as the sun shines or as it snows.
even in a world where we are surrounded by both- the good, the bad. the hard, the easy. the agony and the ecstasy.  

'I AM GOD'
know that
and be still.

tomorrow is the answer.
tomorrow is why i can trust that.
tomorrow is the joining of the Spirit and the body. the entrance.  waited for. looked for. and often missed. missed because we are looking in the wrong places. we are looking in the temple, and He is in the barn. we are looking for high and mighty, He came down and humble. we are looking for shiny and bright. He came to the dirty places. we are looking for loud. He came quietly. we are used to busy. He calls us to stillness. we too often have it backwards. the whole thing. we make life messy and complicated and then try to cover it with pretty and sparkly.

but Christmas reminds us of who God is. of His heart. His deep love. His desire to know us. to know what we taste and smell and feel and see - from our perspective. that is huge. that is life giving and life changing.

Oh holy night
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night of our dear Savior's birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Till he appeared and the soul felt it's worth

The thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices
For yonder brings a new and glorious morn

Fall on your knees

Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine
Oh night, Oh night divine

 

shepherds. night. glory. angel. good news. joy. the Messiah. a baby. lying in a manger. 

not what we thought it would be. not the way we may have wanted it. but so much more beautiful. because He entered into the mess. the broken. Jesus sees us for who we are. peeled. beneath the sparkly and perfume. beneath the clothes on our back - designer or filthy. He sees our bones and our spirit and that they all long for that deep love. to be known, even and perhaps most of all at our worst, and then still loved.  for the soul to feel it's worth. 

living in that worth, knowing that love, makes things bearable when they may seem unbearable. it doesn't make everything 'fine' or 'okay', but bearable and held - is better than unbearable and alone. Christmas is about a Presence that promises fill the stinging absence, to rebuild the home after the fleeing, to hold the hands of my flapping daughter and to still the head and heart of her mother.  

always and even no matter what.

Merry Christmas!