we just returned from our first "real" family vacation in africa. a safari at murchison falls in northern uganda. this family picture- sort of sums it up- the good, the bad, the knotted-ness of 6 peoples lives constantly together for all the minutes of every day. it was wonderful- and here are the 10 things i'll remember for next time...
#1. just because it's called a vacation, doesn't mean it's your vacation:
because it's not. actually, it's the opposite. you will be doing more parenting than you do when you're also at work. you will be seeing more of your children than normal, and you will accidentally have higher expectations than usual. you will assume that because it's a safari, in africa, the giraffe in front of them should cause so much awe and wonder, that who is sitting next to whom won't matter- but it will. and somehow this will annoy you more than it does on the car ride to school so you will say something like, "don't you realize how lucky you are to be sitting 10 feet from a giraffe in the wild- WHO CARES if zoe is sitting next to mommy?" and you will get a response like, "i don't even like giraffes!" followed by, "if i EVER had a turn with the binoculars maybe i would like them." at which point you will wonder why you brought these too young and fully undeserving children on such an extravagant get-a-way.
#2. it's all about the ratios:
whatever activity you plan, the time spent enjoying the activity must be at least 50% longer than the time it takes to prepare for, or dismantle said activity. (moms know this. so dads, there is no such thing as a 'sure, take a quick dip in the pool!' for 4 small children- i'm just saying.)
#3. in the car, no news is good news:
if the kids are quiet, do NOT disturb them. DO NOT think that this is the perfect time to ask them meaningful questions- DO NOT assume that they are pensively reflecting on their year in 2nd grade or how they feel at a new school. no. they are either asleep, about to go to sleep, or thinking about whatever they are looking at out the window, which might cause them to fall asleep, or not, but they are somehow, momentarily.....occupied!! so tempting as it maybe to seize this moment.....LEAVE IT. because if you make that mistake, you will not get the answer you were looking for- you will get, "i'm huunnnngrrryy!!" and "wheeeennnnn are we going to get there?". you will have ruined the quiet time.... and you may never get it back.
#4. remember who is in charge- YOU ARE:
that is right. you're the boss. just because it's a family vacation, doesn't mean the family gets to weigh in on the decision about who gets to sleep on the cot next to mom and dad, or has to go on the boat safari instead of staying at the pool with mom and rosie (please people! you swim at school!- it's a boat safari down the NILE!! see #1 again).
#5. save your treats until your desperate:
like after your 3 year old eats lunch and says "i don't need to go poop." before the 4 hour car ride (when you know she ALWAYS poops after eating lunch)- because you will find she can suddenly go on command when promised a "sweety".
#6. have extra snacks:
so when the giant baboon snatches the entire bag of chips out of your 7 year old's hand- you have other options.
#7. water bottles are great- but they mandate bathroom breaks:
so it's best to keep a disposable plastic one in the car if you have boys and get desperate. also remind them when they get shy and try to hold the empty water bottle upright to minimize exposure, that even though they are terribly good looking, they are only 5 and no one in the car or driving by the car, is looking.
#8. remember a long car ride, is still a long car ride:
even when there are exotic birds flying by, and warthogs in the road.
#9. what happens at home, also happens on vacation:
if you let them make forts with your living room couch cushions at home, don't be surprised when they've turned the safari lodge lounge into a giant fort while you were finishing your tea.
#10. it's totally worth it:
there will be many moments of pure beauty and bliss. like when you are driving through the game park, sitting in sukhasana on the roof of your car, with three of your kids surrounding you. you are then filled with love for these adorable marvelous rugrats who are creative and intelligent and themselves awe inspiring.
besides, you will most likely forget the other moments when you had wished the baboon grabbed them instead of the chips.
#1. just because it's called a vacation, doesn't mean it's your vacation:
because it's not. actually, it's the opposite. you will be doing more parenting than you do when you're also at work. you will be seeing more of your children than normal, and you will accidentally have higher expectations than usual. you will assume that because it's a safari, in africa, the giraffe in front of them should cause so much awe and wonder, that who is sitting next to whom won't matter- but it will. and somehow this will annoy you more than it does on the car ride to school so you will say something like, "don't you realize how lucky you are to be sitting 10 feet from a giraffe in the wild- WHO CARES if zoe is sitting next to mommy?" and you will get a response like, "i don't even like giraffes!" followed by, "if i EVER had a turn with the binoculars maybe i would like them." at which point you will wonder why you brought these too young and fully undeserving children on such an extravagant get-a-way.
#2. it's all about the ratios:
whatever activity you plan, the time spent enjoying the activity must be at least 50% longer than the time it takes to prepare for, or dismantle said activity. (moms know this. so dads, there is no such thing as a 'sure, take a quick dip in the pool!' for 4 small children- i'm just saying.)
#3. in the car, no news is good news:
if the kids are quiet, do NOT disturb them. DO NOT think that this is the perfect time to ask them meaningful questions- DO NOT assume that they are pensively reflecting on their year in 2nd grade or how they feel at a new school. no. they are either asleep, about to go to sleep, or thinking about whatever they are looking at out the window, which might cause them to fall asleep, or not, but they are somehow, momentarily.....occupied!! so tempting as it maybe to seize this moment.....LEAVE IT. because if you make that mistake, you will not get the answer you were looking for- you will get, "i'm huunnnngrrryy!!" and "wheeeennnnn are we going to get there?". you will have ruined the quiet time.... and you may never get it back.
#4. remember who is in charge- YOU ARE:
that is right. you're the boss. just because it's a family vacation, doesn't mean the family gets to weigh in on the decision about who gets to sleep on the cot next to mom and dad, or has to go on the boat safari instead of staying at the pool with mom and rosie (please people! you swim at school!- it's a boat safari down the NILE!! see #1 again).
#5. save your treats until your desperate:
like after your 3 year old eats lunch and says "i don't need to go poop." before the 4 hour car ride (when you know she ALWAYS poops after eating lunch)- because you will find she can suddenly go on command when promised a "sweety".
#6. have extra snacks:
so when the giant baboon snatches the entire bag of chips out of your 7 year old's hand- you have other options.
#7. water bottles are great- but they mandate bathroom breaks:
so it's best to keep a disposable plastic one in the car if you have boys and get desperate. also remind them when they get shy and try to hold the empty water bottle upright to minimize exposure, that even though they are terribly good looking, they are only 5 and no one in the car or driving by the car, is looking.
#8. remember a long car ride, is still a long car ride:
even when there are exotic birds flying by, and warthogs in the road.
#9. what happens at home, also happens on vacation:
if you let them make forts with your living room couch cushions at home, don't be surprised when they've turned the safari lodge lounge into a giant fort while you were finishing your tea.
there will be many moments of pure beauty and bliss. like when you are driving through the game park, sitting in sukhasana on the roof of your car, with three of your kids surrounding you. you are then filled with love for these adorable marvelous rugrats who are creative and intelligent and themselves awe inspiring.
besides, you will most likely forget the other moments when you had wished the baboon grabbed them instead of the chips.
1 comment:
love it!!!!!!!! the pics are great. so glad it was fun! xo e
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