great expectations

it's the perfect day.  i mean the weather.

but it's also just perfect in it's plainness. its everyday-ness.  the kids, no school, no real structure.  random play, scrapped knees, lots of snacks and juice, neighbor kids, laughing, some fighting, but mostly happy sounds.

legos with robs

"see the lizard? it's right there!"

this year i've decided to lower my expectations.  globally.  that is my resolution.  i want to be more easily satisfied, i want to spend more time being pleasantly surprised and less time annoyed or disappointed. i want to roll with it, not fight it.  i want to enjoy this crazy season of life with little kids because soon it will be gone.  i want to remember that zoe will get there, someday, and that it doesn't need to be today. i want to keep life in perspective and not let some random idea of what i think it should be, ruin it.  i want to accept it more and judge it less.

expectation- that which is looked for; prospects especially of success; anticipation

expectation implies a hope or assumption, but even more. something sought, desired, but also with the idea that it should be, that it ought to happen.

where do we get our expectations?  really.  why do we think our kids should be quiet when they play inside? that they shouldn't spill there juice or get poop on the floor on the way to the bathroom?  if we ask ourselves out loud, we'd all say, 'of course they're noisy and messy and have spills and accidents- they're kids!' but then i hear myself, 'why can't you guys just be quiet inside!'  'be more careful when you pour!' and 'hold it until your sitting on the potty!' obviously there is a disconnect between what i know i should expect realistically, and what i secretly expect. 

or we expect health, and wealth, and success.  we expect that life won't be hard, that if we do the right thing, we'll be cosmically rewarded.  really?  it must be hardwired into some core gene in our bodies next to the one that makes sure we remember to breath.  but world history and personal history have shown us that we'll all get sick, that many people will be poor, that we will all experience failure, and sorrow and people will let us down. 

so i'm going to try to flip it around.  i'm going to expect fighting and bloody knees and illness and rain.  i'm going to plan on sticky thoughts and people eating with their fingers and leaving the door open.  i'm even going to expect boredom, and lonely and discouraged.  but.  i will then rejoice in peaceful play time and in sunshine.  i will appreciate health and table manners and the sound of the door shutting.  i will be so thankful for the life in all of it.