the haggis and the christmas tree

you might think that if you can taste your first haggis in uganda, then you'd be able to find a Christmas tree, however, this isn't true.

this weekend i ate haggis.
















i think it's been given a bad wrap because of what's in it and how it's prepared, but it was actually delicious.  (although 'maggot cheese' came up as a related search on google).  i even had seconds.

it's funny that i ate this in uganda of all places, but we were at the scottish ball- so it was perfectly appropriate.

haggis, i've learned is made of sheep parts mixed with onions, oatmeal and spices, then cooked inside of the sheep's intestines.  the parts aren't even your typical parts, they're organs.  and not even your typical organs.  the vital organs, heart, lung, and liver. it tasted like a really good pate.  the whole event was fabulous complete with kilts, plaid, readings from robert burns, and a bagpiper.  (it was all i could do to not shout out 'we've got a piper down!' from that 'classic' movie - honey i married an axe murderer- must see if haven't).   of course the reason the haggis may have been so good was the old 18 year old whiskey that we poured over it.  i'm just saying.

so given that i can be in the middle of africa and be at a scottish ball, how hard could it be to buy a Christmas tree in a land that can grow anything- even pine trees.  but no.

i have this obsessive part of my personality, and i do love the Christmas tradition of tree decorating, and i've already bought the little white lights, so i went on a mad search today.  i went to several different nurseries.  i even went to the national forestry association, both branches.  first of all people couldn't understand why i wanted to buy a tree, why it needed to be over 1/2 a meter tall, and why i'd need to hang anything on it.  they kept walking me around and showing me all sorts of random plants- most of which were tropical.  someone one even said, "what about a rose bush- don't you like roses?"  what?? when i finally did find some pine trees that were over 3 feet tall and might be able to support lights and a few ornaments i was told,
"oh, these ones, they aren't for sale". 
of course they aren't.
"but why?" i asked.
"they have already grown the roots."
"i know.  i want to chop it down.  i don't want the roots, unless you want me take it with roots, in which case i will."
i got no where.
another place had some trees- i mean like 4- that you might be able to call 'trees'.  i was all ready. i circled them a few times and picked the one for us.
"no- you need to come back in a few days- the man who sells these isn't here."
"but you're here- and i'm here now- and so are the trees.  lets call him."  i begged.
"no- you come in a few days."
"but i know how this works- they won't be here in a few days- they'll be all chopped down.  i had this same thing happen with a washing machine."  i was grappling.
"look crazy muzungu- you're not buying that tree! i don't know why your talking about washing machines- but you can't buy that either - now go."  well, that is what her smile said.
"will you at least take my phone number? will you save my tree?  will you call me and confirm?"
right. sure lady. i'll waste my expensive airtime calling your nutball tree cutting muzungu self.  hells naw.

so i came home empty handed and mildly despondent.
today.
there is always tomorrow.
because if i can find haggis, there must be a half way descent pine tree somewhere.

if not, looks like it'll be a charlie brown Christmas for us.
which will at least fit our scottish pocket book.