ode to 18 years (almost)

my mother is a saint. fo' reals'.  she has taken my kids to the mountains for the week so we can do all the tasks of -packing and cleaning and garage-saling and going through papers- in peace.  my house is completely quiet- completely still- which feels weird- but necessary.

on friday, a week before we depart for the greatest adventure of our lives, mike and i celebrate 18 years of marriage.  and this feels like a big deal.  maybe because i love the number 18 (probably because it's my birthday).  maybe because it is at a time when we are turning life as we know it upside down.  i don't know- but it feels big.

we met when i was 18 and he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.  he'd just lost his best friend and life for him- had changed.  the gloss was removed.  that fantasy that 'things will always be ok' was taken.  he was heavy and sad and intense.  and that is where love found us.  i knew before he kissed me that i would spend my life with him- i knew in that knowing way that only happens sometimes in life.  i knew- even though i was young- even though everyone thought we were crazy.

(and i was right.)

there have been years of easy- years of hard- years of really hard.  but in all those years, we walked together.  there have been seasons we are not proud of, seasons of distance and then seasons of inseparability, seasons we laugh back on, and other times we'd be happy to forget.  but we've grown up together.  we've really grown together.  like those trees that start out separate and become one.  that is where we've found ourselves- as one.

this is where we started.  i was 22, he was 25.

our years during medical school. 

 years with zoe alone- then the birth of jude.










                                                              

 and then bryn.

 san francisco

 kid-less vacation.













today mike and i met with the head of the emory global health initiative and it was great- inspiring, exciting, and motivating.  but, before we went, i was kind of dreading it.  a- because i'm exhausted from moving all the furniture we'd borrowed from my parents back up to their mountain house- and b- because it was my first ever professional meeting with mike and i teaming together.  our worlds colliding.  talking about interdisciplinary projects and teaching- architecture/engineering and public health/medicine- they go well together- they need each other- but we've never worked together.  and it has always been my dream.  i've always wanted to merge our lives professionally- to be a united front- to approach problems together. to share a common mission.

today my fears were quickly put at ease.  it was great.  natural. complimentary. and after 18 years of marriage and 22 years together- we are packing it up- all those years - those years that are not things, but are histories, years making us who we are now- who we are together.  and away we go!