last night we went to a cool function thing called "atlanta underground market"- not to be confused with "underground atlanta". the atlanta underground market is a social event held at random locations where local cooks and kitchens prepare food and set up and sell it together in obscure places- and you go and sample and eat and drink and talk and experience. last night was at an urban goat farm- pretty much abandoned factory buildings from the late 1800's - used by artists, where there are also a lot of goats and chickens. it was fantastic. the kids ran around and made a massive mud playground. we got to just hang out and talk and eat and drink.
zoe and i got all dressed up- well not really- but we wore dresses and necklaces and hung out together. i was also wearing a fabulous pair of blue suede chunky heels. i'd spent the morning out with my mom shopping for things for uganda. things like shampoo and toothpaste and razors for the year. things like ibuprofen and kids pajamas and running shoes to replace my ones from 8 years ago. but these blue marc jacobs shoes were on a huge sale and they were so cute- and i tried them on and walked all over the store thinking- "are these good uganda missionary shoes?" "do i need these shoes?" "what purpose will they serve?" and i realized that they are not great uganda missionary shoes. that i do not need them. that i might slide on those little red pebbles on the dirt roads. but that they do serve a purpose. the purpose of not being completely transformed into someone else. the purpose of holding on to parts of me who are with me no matter where i'm living. and that there will be times when i will want to go out and look nice - even in uganda- even if i'll be walking part way on dirt roads. times when i won't want to be 'practical' or 'missionary'. the purpose they serve is maintaining flexibility- of not living in an extreme place- of making it all sustainable. because that is how things are going to happen- that is how change and work will make sense- if we are able to make our lives in uganda- sustainable.
back at the goat farm, the food was so good- all ethnic and flavorful and fresh and interesting. beet-basil-lemonade. ethiopian tarts. tortilla-pineapple- caramel-chocolate crepes. but the most amazing thing i tasted was a maple bacon whoopie pie- can you imagine such a thing? and yes- it was that good.
zoe took one look at that whoopie pie- and said she didn't care that it was mostly gluten and dairy- she needed to eat it. i had to agree. because that is the place i'm in right now- letting things not be so extreme- letting things be more gray- and more fluid- and more flexible. i can't be married to the rules- it won't work well in africa- and it doesn't work that well here either. a few weeks ago- i decided that it will be hard enough to be in uganda with out demanding that we stick to some restrictive diet- but that i'd better try her out with gluten and dairy before we go so we're not faced with too much change all at once. and so far it's been fine- no earth shattering events have happened. a good lesson for me.
on friday night there was one of those huge southern rain storms. lots of thunder and lightening and power surges and tree's falling down. mike was supposed to be flying home and his plane kept getting delayed so i put the kids to bed and watched a sad- sappy- but good movie called "listen to your heart". it has a terrible name- but it had one quote that i loved and found very applicable to many parts of my life. the main character has fallen in love with a girl who is deaf, and says to his friend who is very discouraging of the relationship, " i'm not going to miss out on something that might be great, just because it also might be hard." i cried. (the ugly cry. the movie was really sad in parts!)
but that quote seems to sum up how i feel about my life sometimes. the greatness mingled in with the hardness. it all screamed - don't give up. don't just choose easy. search for the greatness. strive for it- even when it's promising to be hard too. they often go together.
that is where the weekend leaves me- sweet shoes- a sweet dessert- and working on flexibility. learning to be OK with hard- because hiding in there is also, greatness.
zoe and i got all dressed up- well not really- but we wore dresses and necklaces and hung out together. i was also wearing a fabulous pair of blue suede chunky heels. i'd spent the morning out with my mom shopping for things for uganda. things like shampoo and toothpaste and razors for the year. things like ibuprofen and kids pajamas and running shoes to replace my ones from 8 years ago. but these blue marc jacobs shoes were on a huge sale and they were so cute- and i tried them on and walked all over the store thinking- "are these good uganda missionary shoes?" "do i need these shoes?" "what purpose will they serve?" and i realized that they are not great uganda missionary shoes. that i do not need them. that i might slide on those little red pebbles on the dirt roads. but that they do serve a purpose. the purpose of not being completely transformed into someone else. the purpose of holding on to parts of me who are with me no matter where i'm living. and that there will be times when i will want to go out and look nice - even in uganda- even if i'll be walking part way on dirt roads. times when i won't want to be 'practical' or 'missionary'. the purpose they serve is maintaining flexibility- of not living in an extreme place- of making it all sustainable. because that is how things are going to happen- that is how change and work will make sense- if we are able to make our lives in uganda- sustainable.
back at the goat farm, the food was so good- all ethnic and flavorful and fresh and interesting. beet-basil-lemonade. ethiopian tarts. tortilla-pineapple- caramel-chocolate crepes. but the most amazing thing i tasted was a maple bacon whoopie pie- can you imagine such a thing? and yes- it was that good.
zoe took one look at that whoopie pie- and said she didn't care that it was mostly gluten and dairy- she needed to eat it. i had to agree. because that is the place i'm in right now- letting things not be so extreme- letting things be more gray- and more fluid- and more flexible. i can't be married to the rules- it won't work well in africa- and it doesn't work that well here either. a few weeks ago- i decided that it will be hard enough to be in uganda with out demanding that we stick to some restrictive diet- but that i'd better try her out with gluten and dairy before we go so we're not faced with too much change all at once. and so far it's been fine- no earth shattering events have happened. a good lesson for me.
on friday night there was one of those huge southern rain storms. lots of thunder and lightening and power surges and tree's falling down. mike was supposed to be flying home and his plane kept getting delayed so i put the kids to bed and watched a sad- sappy- but good movie called "listen to your heart". it has a terrible name- but it had one quote that i loved and found very applicable to many parts of my life. the main character has fallen in love with a girl who is deaf, and says to his friend who is very discouraging of the relationship, " i'm not going to miss out on something that might be great, just because it also might be hard." i cried. (the ugly cry. the movie was really sad in parts!)
but that quote seems to sum up how i feel about my life sometimes. the greatness mingled in with the hardness. it all screamed - don't give up. don't just choose easy. search for the greatness. strive for it- even when it's promising to be hard too. they often go together.
that is where the weekend leaves me- sweet shoes- a sweet dessert- and working on flexibility. learning to be OK with hard- because hiding in there is also, greatness.
1 comment:
So true! We live and learn to grow and growth is most often painful.
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.