the in-between time is over. it's officially January 1, 2011.
i decided to ask the kids what their resolutions were for the year.
bryn said "to draw". he has an artists soul- he might well be doomed. he can draw and write his name better at his age then either of his siblings could at 3. but he is a perfectionist- he still holds his pen in a fist grip but gets so frustrated when what he draws doesn't look like the picture he has in his mind. he destroys his art if it's not right to him- no matter how good it really is- no matter that this elephant looks just like his 5 year old brothers, and his 11 year old sisters- it's in the eye of the beholder.
i told him my goal for him was to be kinder to himself. to be gentle and patient and thankful for his talent. and i told him my story of the kelloggs stick-up for breakfast contest.
when i was six and my mother was pregnant with my little sister i decided to enter a drawing contest. but really, i had decided to win a bike. i saw it on the back of my sugar smacks cereal box and i wanted to win. the grand prize was a bike- either a red,white and blue 10 speed or a big, green, motorcycle-esque bike. i wanted the motorcycle one.
let me pause. the '70s were fantastic. it was a great time to come of age. and my childhood was full of sugar cereal and oreo's, knee-high sports socks with short shorts, iron-on decal tee-shirts, feathered hair, and large combs in back pockets. we grew up watching the brady's and the dukes of hazard and sneaking 'eight is enough' (the family with more risque values). i loved the kinks and and wondered what "a red, under my bed" meant. it was the end of the 8 track cassette player, the decade of the boom box and the beginning of the walkman. i learned to ride a bike with a banana seat, and rode in the the way-way back of large, fake wood paneled station wagons. it was pre- transfats, pre- anti-suv, pre-politically correct- BUT- we were the generation who was raised with strong moral opposition to littering. raised on school house rock and the crying american indian commercial.
the contest was to draw a picture of a kelloggs breakfast cereal character eating breakfast. i decided to draw a camping scene with tony the tiger eating breakfast outside beside his tent. the picture came out pretty well but i had accidentally drawn him with this gigantic thumb. i remember thinking that surely that would be my demise. that thumb might cost me the contest, but the rest of it looked pretty good, so i submitted it. and then i waited. it seemed like forever. during the months leading up to the end of the contest, i became increasingly convinced that i would win, my mother became increasingly fuller with child, and my parents spend an equal amount of time explaining that thousands of kids entered this contest from all across the country and that the odds were against me. i remember being surprised by their lack of faith and aware of the apparent contradiction that they told me i was a good artist, but seemed to think it impossible that anyone else would think so too. on september 11th 1977 my sister was born, but i didn't care. because on september 11th 1977- i opened a letter from kelloggs explaining that i had indeed won. i remember thinking, " i knew it!"- i don't know where that confidence came from- it wasn't even confidence - it was more a knowing feeling.
the point of the story for me at age 6 was that nothing is impossible. that you should take risks. that you should believe in yourself. the other thing i took away from the experience was to remind myself that as a parent, when someone wins a contest, they get to pick the prize. you see, i ended up with the red, white and blue ten speed- not the green motorcycle bike- because it was more practical. but practical doesn't matter when you drew the picture- when you won the prize. not only did they not think i would win, but when i did win, they trumped my choice of prize. and because it was practical- i had that bike until i went to college- the seat jacked up higher every year.
the point of the story for bryn was to tell him that if i'd destroyed the picture because of that absurdly enlarged thumb- i surely wouldn't have won the bike. but further, that it was that enlarged thumb that probably won the contest- because the drawing accidentally emphasized tony saying "they're ggggrrrrrreat!" with his giant thumb. i don't think it sunk in because he cut up the next picture he made.
at dinner we finished sharing our new years resolutions. they were impressively insightful.
zoe said she wanted to work on her sticky thoughts, to be less stubborn and less rigid. wow. i was thrilled. those are exactly what i hoped she'd say. hopefully she's more determined with hers than i tend to be with mine.
jude said to not whine. again- right on the money!
bryn changed his to "set his bed"which i think means, make his bed. i was hoping for being less argumentative, but i guess that would cheat him out of a necessary developmental stage.
mike said to be home more and at work less. loved it.
i boiled my 1000 things down to laugh more and yell less. and i think everyone was happy with that.
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