keep it real

last night was beautiful.  i mean the world was in that place of being as perfect as it can be outside.  the temperature was perfect, the sunset- the colors- the light- had that deepness that speaks down inside you.  i went in to kampala for a goodbye dinner party for one my best friends here. i got to bump down a back way dirt road for an hour, as the passenger because i had a driver, and look out as the beautiful night grew around me.

it was all the goodness of a dinner party in the evening, with that perfect weather, with good friends and delicious food and music and little white lights on a porch and that encompassing night sky.  the host gave a speech for the couple who are returning to the US next month.  she was talking about how even extra important friendship is here when you are so far away from 'home' and family and old friends. how you grow together quickly and tightly and so separating can feel extra painful.  it's true.

but i was also thinking about the beauty of my old friends and the amazing time we live in - that we are able to stay so connected even while so far away.

the response we had from people over our recent theft, has been unbelievable. really.  and what it tells me is that people want to help each other.  we want so badly to do good, to reach out, to help where we can.  i think we are meant to do this, i think we are made to do this.  we are meant to live and be in community.  to care for one another and rally around each other.  but there can be a lack of opportunity. the hard part is that most of us are super independent and we don't like asking for help- it feels uncomfortable or weak or burdensome. but when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable...wow.  we are here for each other in big, huge ways. 

when i first got the responses- the emails and notes about wanting to help- i felt like george bailey in it's a wonderful life when the town finds out he's in trouble, in need, they rush to his rescue and he realizes the importance of his life and his relationship and what he's invested himself in- people.  i felt so overwhelmed with the kindness that i had goosebumps- but i had a hard time responding.  i had a hard time specifically asking for the things that were taken.  i didn't want to be a burden.  but then i realized that it was real, people did want to help, and that by not responding i was blocking peoples opportunity to do good. i was interfering with the joy that comes from meeting a need- for knowing that you did something to help someone.

ugandans tend to be much better at all this than americans.  sharing, looking out for each other, taking care of each other is a big part of the culture.  and, it's okay to be vulnerable- to be the one in need- to ask.  everyone seems to know that that we need one another, that one day the favor will be returned. that it's a circle, it goes around and comes around.

so i asked.  i put it out there- the things that were lost- the things that we'd try to replace- even the things that seemed irreplaceable.  and it was real.  people found things- bought things- packaged things and mailed things.  people who've never met my kids- but who have kids of their own and a love of africa.  people i haven't seen in years.  people who know the challenge of gluten-free baking, people even offered to help me get my diplomas back- to contact the schools for me.  amazing. 

people often criticize social media for causing us to lose our sense of community.  people say that facebook allows us to put our best face forward and not be real with each other.  people say that we no longer spend time with a small group of people we see face to face- that we live with- and instead spend hours on our computers sharing shallow tidbits of whatever we want people to see.

that hasn't been my experience at. all.  i've felt a warmth and a realness. i've felt so fortunate to be able to connect with my old and new friends on the other side of the world. i've been so touched by the generosity and the care, that it makes me feel the world is small and tight and warm. that we are not alone. at. all. that we can and should reach out to each other more.  that we are made to share our lives- the beauty and the ugly.  that we are meant to lean on each other.  to hold each other up. to bear one anothers burdens. to walk gently beside each other, to whisper encouragement or shout out in joy, or cry together.  this is who we are.  this is who we can be.  thank you all for reminding me. 

lets keep it real.