thankful for 2 wheel drive

today zoe is 11. today i am so thankful.

i went for a run and thought about how blessed we are, and thanked God, and prayed for those who are not feeling so blessed- where ever they are. i thought about the last 11 years. all the joy and all the tears. the seasons when it couldn't get any better, and the seasons when it couldn't get any worse, but then it did. i thought about how through all of it i have been loved and supported by family and friends and a God who knows the big picture even when i don't.

when we were in Uganda last month we took a trip about 7 hours north of the city to go see Murchison Falls, the highest falls in Uganda. we didn't know it but half the drive was on a dirt road, and it was the beginning of the rainy season. we had hired a Ugandan driver who had been there before and he picked us up in a two wheel drive minivan. this seemed fine to us.

on the way there, we stopped in a little "town" for lunch and it poured rain. when we got back on the road, it was no longer paved and pretty soon, we were in a great big mess. the car was spinning on the road, sliding all over the place and no one was saying a word. all i could think about was being stuck in the mud, having to walk who knows how far back to the little town with zoe and having to stay there until another car could come for us.

we finally got out of the mud and made it up to the lodge and stayed for two nights. we saw giraffes, hippos, lions, crocodiles,warthogs, elephants, monkeys, baboons and many fancy deer-type animals- it was amazing. the night we were getting ready to go, it started to rain. it rained and then rained some more, and then poured southern-style, all night long. it rained so loud and so hard that we woke up and couldn't sleep . i worried and had visions/half awake dreams of being stuck in the mud out in the safari land and my child being eaten by a lion. so i did what i always do when i'm away at 2am, i prayed. and i was pretty proud of myself because i decided to have faith- full faith- that God would provide for us a 4-wheel drive vehicle- because that is what i decided we needed to get home safely. and with that- i fell asleep.

the next morning it was lightly raining and we had breakfast and mike announced that during the night he'd looked at a map and found an alternative route that gave us more paved road- although it was longer. he thought we'd have a better chance to make it using this route and convinced the driver and we were off. nine hours later we made it home safely.

when we got home, i remembered my fear and anxiety in that night of the rain storm. i remembered how i had thought and thought and left-brained my way to a perfect plan and once i had the solution- i gave it up in faith. my prayer had been, "i know you can provide the 4-wheel drive vehicle." not, "i trust you will get us back safely." subtle differences but kind of big differences.

when i look at my life- especially the last 11 years, there have been so many many seasons when the rain poured down and when i thought i had the perfect plan. and there have been so many times when i've been wrong. when my plan didn't work or my plan didn't happen. times when i thought, "why is it happening like this? this is so not what i planned for my life!"

yet how beautiful has it been! how God has orchestrated it - how much joy and goodness have come out of those seasons of challenge. and i look at my life with zoe and how it can seem like facing a muddy road with 2-wheel drive sometimes, God had continued to get us home safely- His way, His time.