one step forward

getting ready for homeschooling. ok, i've been ready but little bryn hasn't started preschool and really, it won't work until he starts.  i'm getting excited- but getting nervous. hopeful, but prepared.  we're trying a new method this year- the charlotte mason method. 

last year we didn't have a method- we winged it.  we used the american girl books as a backbone for reading/ phonics and history. she did copy work.  i tried worksheets for spelling and grammar from different books at different grade levels. i did another history book for the ancient times.  we did bible and art.  we did math- many ways.  we did geography related to what we read and also worked our way through part of the united states and their capitals.  it worked i guess.  it was very us. very fly-by-the-seat. flexible- perhaps too flexible.  i didn't feel i had a system which kind of bothered me. but what is worse- is i constantly felt like she was behind- that i was behind- that i was straddling two grades and not trusting anything.  that i wasn't sure if i should test her and make sure she knew it all well before moving on.  i would have days when i felt like she needed to sit there until it was done and days when i would let her call the shots more.  but, overall, i think she learned and we didn't kill each other- almost- a few times, but not quite.

the charlotte mason method allows children to move at their own pace.  it doesn't compare them with a standard.  it trusts that the child will learn- that we are all learning - that we are to guide and direct.  it uses literature, it uses "real books" not text books, to learn.  it values time outdoors, play, real life.  i'm really still learning the method and i have no idea how it will go over. but i'm excited.

i've been far from this writing because zoe is doing well.  she's been doing really well. and you know when i write it- things change. :) maybe her brain is balancing.  maybe because she turns 11 next week. who knows.

what do i  mean by "better" anyway?  i mean she's both more engaged and less sticky.  and when she gets sticky- she gets over it faster and with less drama. there is more flexibility. there is more self awareness- "oh i guess i don't need to apologize". (instead of just saying "I'M SORRY!"- in response to anything we remind her about- "zoe can you get your shoes on?" "I'm SORRY mom!!")

what do i mean by more engaged? she asks questions like, "mom what kinds of games did you used to play when you were little?" and then listens and responds to the answers. or "dad, how was your day today? how did things go at work?" or "aunt linds, what interesting things have happened in your lifetime?" 

for those of you with typical kids- this might seem silly.  but you have no idea how happy it makes us!  to see her be able to climb outside her own head- her own world- her own sensory system and enter into someone else's experience and then to draw parallels with other things in her life or history- is so exciting! the dots are starting to connect- her world is starting to make more sense and she's finding her place in it- and she is more calm, less stressed, happy. 

and that is what we want for her.  happiness.  peace. 

we will officially start homeschooling this week.  and perhaps all this zen will go out the window.  one of the hardest things about kids with learning differences is their inconsistency.  you can reach a new place and then loose it.  one step up, two steps back.  but we'll keep walking- moving forward- in stillness of spirit- and with faith.  so thankful for the weeks like these!