the princess and the pea

of my three children, only one of them doesn't really care what he wears these days. the middle one. he likes me to pick it out, he gets dressed- life goes on. the little one, throws a fit about each item- and just when you think there is a pattern or a favorite- he changes his mind. today he put back everything i'd laid out- including last weeks favorite shirt, and the spiderman underwear (he wanted diego today). and then there is zoe. bless her heart. she cares what she wears in her mind- and then her body has to weigh in too. she'll pick out something and then need to change because it's too scratchy, too tight, even though last week it was fine.
you would think that by now, i would be used to this. you would think that i would not longer care- but no. somedays it just makes me crazy- because that shirt is soft, and i've cut the tags out of everything she owns, even the remnants of a tag are out with a seam-riper. HOW can it still be scratchy???

today, as i'm helping zoe change her shirt for the third time, and exclaiming that it's almost impossible for this shirt to be uncomfortable, and she's apologizing again for the the way she was made, and i'm feeling like the worst mother in the world again, i remembered the story of the princess and the pea. that the prince who'd searched high and low for a real princess, could only be sure that the bedraggled girl who showed up at his door,was really a princess because she felt that pea beneath twenty mattresses. because she was so sensitive. over-sensitivity as a sign of royalty - not a sign of weakness or something to be frustrated by. but of pure beauty and truth. and despite her appearance, her sensitivity won his heart.

and true or not, it softened me. and i apologized, again. we found something that worked and went on with our day.

and the prince and princess lived happily ever after.