chains

this is my fifth year living in or near kampala, the capital city of uganda. i've been downtown many times- down like way down - to the taxi park on foot- and i'm always careful and mindful. i've lived in or at least worked in cities most of my life, so i know about keeping my bag closed and close and paying attention. and i've been very lucky.

well today in the car with mike, someone tried to steal my necklace. this is the story of my four mistakes.

i knew that we were going to an area where street theft is common and i've heard the stories of people reaching in and taking phones and bags out of the car, so....i wisely tucked my thin gold necklace into my shirt and kept the doors locked.

but that was it.

the windows in the front where mike sat and i drove, were down, because it was hot. we were in a jam, with lots of taxis and bodas and pedestrians weaving between cars, and we weren't moving. open window, close pedestrians, gold necklace.

i should have taken the chain off. i should have closed the windows.

a guy walked by, reached in my window and grabbed at my chest to get the part of the necklace he could see. he failed and walked quickly away into the crowd. i. was. appalled. i turned to mike and said, "did you see that! ahhh that man! i feel violated! what is wrong with people! i mean he just grabbed my chest, as if that is fine!" i put the window half way up.

i should have taken the chain off now. now i should have closed the windows.

but it was so hot and we were still in the jam so after a few minutes i put the window down again. then i see the guy- gray t-shirt, red shoes walking ahead in the traffic. i said,  "ahh there goes that thief! what a nerve he has to come back near here!"

but i still didn't roll up the window or take off the chain.

next comes the oldest trick in the book. there was a bang on the back of the car and we turned to look, he reached in my window and scraped at my chest to get the necklace. but he failed again. it broke and slid down my shirt. my chest was stinging and i was mad. like ridiculously mad. and in that place of anger and injustice i leaned on my horn and shouted,  "I HATE THIS COUNTRY!"

and that was the worst part.

i totally don't hate this country. i love this country- that's why i'm here.

what i hate, is the broken. and the justification of the broken, and the reality behind the justification of the broken. that guy probably thinks that snatching a necklace from some foreigner in a car is not that big of a deal, and maybe it's even deserved because life is unfair. and life is unfair. there is large, global disparity. there are many people who have not enough and many who have more than enough. and there is relativity to 'enough'. and just like there can be inappropriate justification of the crime, isn't there inappropriate justification of the more than enough? financial disparity brings a bidirectional disparity in understanding. a disparity in compassion. it breeds disunity. separatism.  but the broken is everywhere.

the broken is my stubbornness in not rolling up the window. a stubbornness borne from a place of refusing to accept the reality of our unjust world.

the broken is my response of anger and displacement.

the broken is my forgetting that ultimately i am no different from the guy in the gray shirt and red high-tops. we all make bad choices. we all hurt people. that is universal. i'm not excusing what he did- but i do need to offer him Grace.

because Grace has been given to me. 
and given to me.
and given to me.

My chains are gone
I've been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace