today i have the house to myself. thank God. some days, i need space, i need no other energy, i need to do my own laundry and dishes and baking. space is a luxury. so is a magazine.
the other day i was in line at the market and i saw an elle decor magazine that was remarkably new and the plastic wrapper was removed. it was beautiful. i had a moment. the smell of that print mixed with the intermingled perfume advertizements - it was- other worldly. i couldn't stop standing there and smelling that magazine.
i've been traveling in my head a lot lately. i've been creating little moments that feel like being in italy or look like i could be in france, if i position myself right in my chair and try to ignore certain things- like tropical flora and fauna and things falling apart.
i am not unhappy. things are good- in fact in many ways better than they've been or than we'd hoped. last night mike and i were watching glee and i looked at him and asked him if he thought it was bad that we really have no idea what exactly zoe is doing in school. i mean we don't know if she is learning anything or not, if she's participating or not. we don't get much info and we haven't asked for it. we've both been operating under the 'no news is good news' motto. we've both been so thrilled with no news (for the first time in 13 years) that we don't want to ask. because we both look at zoe and her happiness and her comfort with her life now, her enjoyment of school, her science award, her desire for a microscope for her 14th birthday, and her slow maturity- and we say- that is enough.
this girl amazes me. God amazes me. how far she's come amazes me. we know she's a good reader, we know she will probably always struggle in math, we know that handwriting will be hard and messy forever, but we can hear her mind growing- her thoughts coming together more- her sense of humor evolving- her ability to clue in more socially. this is a season about those things. this is a season about letting her breathe and adjust and regulate. this is enough.
i've been looking at my life in general this week and saying- that it is enough. "you have enough. you actually have way more than enough" is what i've said, as i've looked at these little ones and felt the sun and even the rain. it is enough.
the other day i was in line at the market and i saw an elle decor magazine that was remarkably new and the plastic wrapper was removed. it was beautiful. i had a moment. the smell of that print mixed with the intermingled perfume advertizements - it was- other worldly. i couldn't stop standing there and smelling that magazine.
i've been traveling in my head a lot lately. i've been creating little moments that feel like being in italy or look like i could be in france, if i position myself right in my chair and try to ignore certain things- like tropical flora and fauna and things falling apart.
i am not unhappy. things are good- in fact in many ways better than they've been or than we'd hoped. last night mike and i were watching glee and i looked at him and asked him if he thought it was bad that we really have no idea what exactly zoe is doing in school. i mean we don't know if she is learning anything or not, if she's participating or not. we don't get much info and we haven't asked for it. we've both been operating under the 'no news is good news' motto. we've both been so thrilled with no news (for the first time in 13 years) that we don't want to ask. because we both look at zoe and her happiness and her comfort with her life now, her enjoyment of school, her science award, her desire for a microscope for her 14th birthday, and her slow maturity- and we say- that is enough.
this girl amazes me. God amazes me. how far she's come amazes me. we know she's a good reader, we know she will probably always struggle in math, we know that handwriting will be hard and messy forever, but we can hear her mind growing- her thoughts coming together more- her sense of humor evolving- her ability to clue in more socially. this is a season about those things. this is a season about letting her breathe and adjust and regulate. this is enough.
i've been looking at my life in general this week and saying- that it is enough. "you have enough. you actually have way more than enough" is what i've said, as i've looked at these little ones and felt the sun and even the rain. it is enough.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.