over the weekend when mike and i were hiking up from the crater lake
and listening to the orchestra of exotic birds- i had a memory
surface.
i remembered being twelve years old and at disney world for the first time. we had done all the really fun rides- pirates of the caribbean, peter pans magic ride, thunder mountain, and space mountain - and we landed at the tiki birds. i remember a room- hut like- filled with fake but mobile exotic birds on the ceiling- and recordings of all the bird sounds one might hear in the rainforest. i was twelve and i thought this was really boring, and definitely didn't qualify as a 'ride', but something caught the corner of my rolling preteen eyes.
there was a a girl about my age in a full reclining wheel chair. her limbs were contracted, and her movements were spastic, and as she looked up from her permanent seat, she was elated. it was like Gods gift to her. suddenly the ceiling, which because of her position she was forced to look at all the time, was alive with birds and colors and movement and sounds. it was as if the tiki bird 'ride' was made for her.
it spoke to me.
i felt like such a jerk, for many reasons. for taking this display for granted, for judging it. for not appreciating something that was a different type of entertainment. for taking my legs for granted, and my ability to move them onto other rides that this girl couldn't go on. ever.
i imagined what life would be like in that chair, and i felt so sad.
but then i looked at her family. her parents and her siblings were all around her, and all so happy that she was loving the tiki birds. they were there with her, in her moment. they weren't sad for her, or for them, they shared in her enjoyment, they were content. they had found a 'ride' that she could enjoy, that they could enjoy together.
i had a moment back then of beginning to think differently about people who are differently-abled. and about treading lightly, and about contentment. she was elated but her family was content.
they were content despite having to see disney world with a sister in a reclining wheelchair, and having to find all those ramps and being stared at and who knows how many times they had to see the tiki birds.
content- desiring no more than what one has; ready to accept or acquiesce
today was the first of fellowship for the UCU footballers and the topic was contentment. the reading was from philippians 4- about contentment- about being satisfied in all circumstances- about how we can do this because of God- and the strength that God gives.
it's hard to be content when things aren't going well, because when things aren't going well, i pretty much desire anything and everything that i don't have, and i want to get rid of what i do have. when things aren't going well, i don't want to acquiesce- i want to make things better- i want change.
but wow. learning to be content in all circumstances? practicing being satisfied and accepting things that i can not actually change anyway? finding the beauty in a room full of fake tropical birds? letting that be what it is, and be enough? even if the joy is only in watching the joy on the face of another? that sounds fantastic. that sounds life giving and peaceful and happy.
this is a tough season honestly. the road has been rough -timothy's cancer being back, last week jaja died, no news on zoe's schooling next year, rose's birth mom did show up but didn't sign the affidavit, people are continually in need and sharing that need, friends leave, expectations aren't met, dogs bark all night and you lose sleep, we can feel stretched thin. and mike and i both have had those moments lately.
and in those moments i feel like max in where the wild things are. that i've sailed in and out of weeks and almost over a year. that the wild things are all the problems here- the poverty and the need and the injustice- and that so quickly after saying 'be still'- i am made the king of the wild things. then the wild rumpus starts.
"now stop!" said max and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. and max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. "
it's hard to be content when you're lonely. when you miss your old people. when from far away across the world you smell good things to eat. and when you can feel like you're being eaten up by the wild things themselves.
but.
'i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. i can do anything through him that gives me strength.' phil 4:13
even far away in weeks and almost a year- on days when the wild things rumpus is so loud and my voice is so soft that i can't muster 'now stop!' but i can muster, help. even and because there is someone loving those tiki birds because that is all she can see and experience. it's enough. i don't need more than i already have- whatever i have. i can do anything through him that gives me strength.
i remembered being twelve years old and at disney world for the first time. we had done all the really fun rides- pirates of the caribbean, peter pans magic ride, thunder mountain, and space mountain - and we landed at the tiki birds. i remember a room- hut like- filled with fake but mobile exotic birds on the ceiling- and recordings of all the bird sounds one might hear in the rainforest. i was twelve and i thought this was really boring, and definitely didn't qualify as a 'ride', but something caught the corner of my rolling preteen eyes.
there was a a girl about my age in a full reclining wheel chair. her limbs were contracted, and her movements were spastic, and as she looked up from her permanent seat, she was elated. it was like Gods gift to her. suddenly the ceiling, which because of her position she was forced to look at all the time, was alive with birds and colors and movement and sounds. it was as if the tiki bird 'ride' was made for her.
it spoke to me.
i felt like such a jerk, for many reasons. for taking this display for granted, for judging it. for not appreciating something that was a different type of entertainment. for taking my legs for granted, and my ability to move them onto other rides that this girl couldn't go on. ever.
i imagined what life would be like in that chair, and i felt so sad.
but then i looked at her family. her parents and her siblings were all around her, and all so happy that she was loving the tiki birds. they were there with her, in her moment. they weren't sad for her, or for them, they shared in her enjoyment, they were content. they had found a 'ride' that she could enjoy, that they could enjoy together.
i had a moment back then of beginning to think differently about people who are differently-abled. and about treading lightly, and about contentment. she was elated but her family was content.
they were content despite having to see disney world with a sister in a reclining wheelchair, and having to find all those ramps and being stared at and who knows how many times they had to see the tiki birds.
content- desiring no more than what one has; ready to accept or acquiesce
today was the first of fellowship for the UCU footballers and the topic was contentment. the reading was from philippians 4- about contentment- about being satisfied in all circumstances- about how we can do this because of God- and the strength that God gives.
it's hard to be content when things aren't going well, because when things aren't going well, i pretty much desire anything and everything that i don't have, and i want to get rid of what i do have. when things aren't going well, i don't want to acquiesce- i want to make things better- i want change.
but wow. learning to be content in all circumstances? practicing being satisfied and accepting things that i can not actually change anyway? finding the beauty in a room full of fake tropical birds? letting that be what it is, and be enough? even if the joy is only in watching the joy on the face of another? that sounds fantastic. that sounds life giving and peaceful and happy.
this is a tough season honestly. the road has been rough -timothy's cancer being back, last week jaja died, no news on zoe's schooling next year, rose's birth mom did show up but didn't sign the affidavit, people are continually in need and sharing that need, friends leave, expectations aren't met, dogs bark all night and you lose sleep, we can feel stretched thin. and mike and i both have had those moments lately.
and in those moments i feel like max in where the wild things are. that i've sailed in and out of weeks and almost over a year. that the wild things are all the problems here- the poverty and the need and the injustice- and that so quickly after saying 'be still'- i am made the king of the wild things. then the wild rumpus starts.
"now stop!" said max and sent the wild things off to bed without their supper. and max the king of all wild things was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all. "
it's hard to be content when you're lonely. when you miss your old people. when from far away across the world you smell good things to eat. and when you can feel like you're being eaten up by the wild things themselves.
but.
'i have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. i can do anything through him that gives me strength.' phil 4:13
even far away in weeks and almost a year- on days when the wild things rumpus is so loud and my voice is so soft that i can't muster 'now stop!' but i can muster, help. even and because there is someone loving those tiki birds because that is all she can see and experience. it's enough. i don't need more than i already have- whatever i have. i can do anything through him that gives me strength.
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