this is 'friendly dog'.
or bolt.
or santa's little helper.
friendly has worked his way into the family- slowly by slowly. the kids love him- except for rosie who is scared of him- she is probably the wisest of the 4. maybe she doesn't yet trust him because she watched him buck while the vet was giving him shots- and watched me get stuck with the needle in the cacophony. or perhaps because she saw him mix up zoe's hand with a stick and bite her finger- requiring more rabies shots- poor zoe.
but santa's little helper does a great job of barking at the people who shouldn't be walking around our house and not barking at those of us who live here. we have far fewer 'lingerers' and after all the thefts- bolt is staying.
today he got a bath. he doesn't not like water- and i do not like bathing animals- but we managed to get through it. now he looks better and smells slightly better, but mostly he is only more convinced that he is all the more ours.
tonight when i was putting the boys to bed, i had a moment. it was one of those- 'you'd better hold on and savor this because it won't last.' - moments. it was one of those - 'hey- these are the moments that matter- maybe most- so linger'.
the other day one of my friends stated that almost all of the influence we have on shaping the character of our children happens before they are 11 years old. yikes!! i broke out in a cold sweat. i felt nauseated. it was the same feeling i had when i watched 'the tree of life'- a feeling of intense responsibility and a pretty strong conviction that i'd already way messed it up.
surely that can't be true!! zoe is done? i'm two years past the deadline? maybe with neuro-atypical kids it's delayed. and my boys are soon to be 6 and 8....i don't have much time!! they are already big and independent and smart and in most ways- older than their years. is my influence more than half way over? and what kind of an influence have i been?
i think i might be a whirlwind of rushing. i might be a tornado hurrying them through the routines of life- the get up and get to school- the pick up from school and get home- the homework- the dinner routine- the bedtime routine- all the while shouting 'shut the door!!'. what kind of an influence is that?
then tonight in the quiet of their room, with their colored christmas lights glowing, it occurred to me that none of that matters. as i lay beside jude and prayed and "painted his face" and played with his hair and sang him this favorite bedtime song (patty griffith's 'long black limousine') i realized that right now, in this moment, he feels loved. he feels safe and that the world could quite possibly be okay. he feels valued and worth someones time. he feels the warmth of knowing these things- these things that really are the only things that matter.
so i stayed. i lingered longer. i sang bryn the second verse of 'raindrops on roses' again, because he swore he didn't hear it.
the thing about life is - it goes on- said robert frost. and it does. and it will. no matter what happens before our children turn that magical 'post-influential age of 11'. i don't know if it's for self-protective measures or not, but i don't believe in this age 11 business. i believe in continued growth and influence and redemption and transformation and life long character development.
it's now 2013. another landmark. a beginning again. another chance to stop in the midst of the crazy and linger. another year to break it down and be in that car- not just in the motion and hustle of where it's going. to enjoy the dinner conversation and worry less about who has eaten all their zucchini- because i know they get enough green veg and it matters much more that they are heard.
i hope this year i remember it's better for them to stay up later because they are drawing something cool then get another 15 minutes of sleep.
i hope that i can let the forts all over the house stay longer- so they see i value their creativity more than a clean house.
i hope that they will always feel loved, deeply loved, and safe and valued and worthy of time and that they will know that world could quite possibly be okay.
or bolt.
or santa's little helper.
friendly has worked his way into the family- slowly by slowly. the kids love him- except for rosie who is scared of him- she is probably the wisest of the 4. maybe she doesn't yet trust him because she watched him buck while the vet was giving him shots- and watched me get stuck with the needle in the cacophony. or perhaps because she saw him mix up zoe's hand with a stick and bite her finger- requiring more rabies shots- poor zoe.
but santa's little helper does a great job of barking at the people who shouldn't be walking around our house and not barking at those of us who live here. we have far fewer 'lingerers' and after all the thefts- bolt is staying.
today he got a bath. he doesn't not like water- and i do not like bathing animals- but we managed to get through it. now he looks better and smells slightly better, but mostly he is only more convinced that he is all the more ours.
tonight when i was putting the boys to bed, i had a moment. it was one of those- 'you'd better hold on and savor this because it won't last.' - moments. it was one of those - 'hey- these are the moments that matter- maybe most- so linger'.
the other day one of my friends stated that almost all of the influence we have on shaping the character of our children happens before they are 11 years old. yikes!! i broke out in a cold sweat. i felt nauseated. it was the same feeling i had when i watched 'the tree of life'- a feeling of intense responsibility and a pretty strong conviction that i'd already way messed it up.
surely that can't be true!! zoe is done? i'm two years past the deadline? maybe with neuro-atypical kids it's delayed. and my boys are soon to be 6 and 8....i don't have much time!! they are already big and independent and smart and in most ways- older than their years. is my influence more than half way over? and what kind of an influence have i been?
i think i might be a whirlwind of rushing. i might be a tornado hurrying them through the routines of life- the get up and get to school- the pick up from school and get home- the homework- the dinner routine- the bedtime routine- all the while shouting 'shut the door!!'. what kind of an influence is that?
then tonight in the quiet of their room, with their colored christmas lights glowing, it occurred to me that none of that matters. as i lay beside jude and prayed and "painted his face" and played with his hair and sang him this favorite bedtime song (patty griffith's 'long black limousine') i realized that right now, in this moment, he feels loved. he feels safe and that the world could quite possibly be okay. he feels valued and worth someones time. he feels the warmth of knowing these things- these things that really are the only things that matter.
so i stayed. i lingered longer. i sang bryn the second verse of 'raindrops on roses' again, because he swore he didn't hear it.
the thing about life is - it goes on- said robert frost. and it does. and it will. no matter what happens before our children turn that magical 'post-influential age of 11'. i don't know if it's for self-protective measures or not, but i don't believe in this age 11 business. i believe in continued growth and influence and redemption and transformation and life long character development.
it's now 2013. another landmark. a beginning again. another chance to stop in the midst of the crazy and linger. another year to break it down and be in that car- not just in the motion and hustle of where it's going. to enjoy the dinner conversation and worry less about who has eaten all their zucchini- because i know they get enough green veg and it matters much more that they are heard.
i hope this year i remember it's better for them to stay up later because they are drawing something cool then get another 15 minutes of sleep.
i hope that i can let the forts all over the house stay longer- so they see i value their creativity more than a clean house.
i hope that they will always feel loved, deeply loved, and safe and valued and worthy of time and that they will know that world could quite possibly be okay.
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