just in case..

africa is big.  this is true.  but there is also a smaller side, a quieter side that i think is important to mention.  especially as it sits in contrast to the bigness of america.

americans like to be prepared.  we like to be over-prepared.  we are the home of the mega-store.  we like stocked cupboards, we like high wood piles, we like generators, we like back up plans.  we don't want to be with out, anything, ever.  we don't want to be in need or dependent.  and this is probably good-except, it can go too far.  we have created a problem of hoarding and of over consumption.  our desire for reserves leaves us in constant abundance. and many americans wear that abundance but we're still searching for more.  we live expectantly.  but i'm not sure what we're expecting?  a mass disaster? a sudden loss of goods? 

preparedness is about control. and we fear this, we manage our anxiety about a loss of control, with preparing, with consumption.

this preparedness is so engrained in our culture that i didn't even notice until i moved to africa, where planning is not a cultural value.  where being prepared might even been foolish because what if a mass disaster does happen and you're not even here to eat all the food in the cupboard?  what if it rains all over your wood pile or someone steals your wood?  

and here is where africa can feel small.  people buy things in bits.  a pinch of curry.  a few cents of airtime for the phone.  a few dollars worth of gas.  it makes sense because people can't afford to stock up, they wouldn't have anywhere to put their stores of supplies, and there is an over arching sense of fatalism. 

the philosophical belief that all events are subject to fate.  that we are powerless to do anything other than what we actually do.  that we have no ability to influence the future.

given this dominant under current, why bother planning?  live in the moment because who knows what will come next. 

but americans believe that we can overcome fate.  we believe that we have the power to control our destiny.  that we have complete control over our future. that is why we get so distraught when things don't work out, when 'life' happens despite our plans.  so somewhere in between fatalism and control lies the truth.  somewhere between stocked and empty cupboards is probably the right answer.
and finding our balance of this, as americans living in africa, is interesting.  and often alternates between being mind boggling and very funny. 

there is much more to remember here than in the US where things operate more according to newtons first law of physics, a body in motion, stays in motion, unless operated on by an external force.  when you get a cell phone you sign up for a plan and can set up automatic payment from your checking account and that ball is in motion.  you don't have to think about it, or do anything about it, unless you run out of money.  when you cook, if you have a gas stove, you pay your gas bill each month, on automatic payment and your stove always works.  uganda doesn't work like this- at least not at our house.  we need to remember to buy air time for cell phones.  we need to buy propane for our stove.

the other day i needed to buy airtime so i walked down to a kiosk on campus.  being the prepared american and extremely efficient with my time, i decided to buy 40,000 shillings worth (about 14 dollars).  the first two kiosks only had 2000 shillings worth- so directed me to the main kiosk. i asked if she had 40 shillings of airtime - was told yes- and that she'd load it for me.  how nice i thought.  each time you buy airtime you have to scratch off a code on a card and enter that code into the phone.  well a few minutes later, and after several customs had needed assistance, i told her i'd just load it myself as i had to get to a meeting. sure she said and handed me twenty 2000 shilling cards.  and she'd already done me the courtesy of scratching off the silver strip to reveal the codes on all 20 cards.  i suppose it's not mandatory to tell the customer that to buy the 40K shillings of airtime will take 20 minutes to load onto your phone.  but would it have killed her to tell me that she was out of the 20K cards?  really? 
but there is the quieter side of africa- not wanting to disappoint.  

then it was time to buy propane for the stove.  a big tank seems to last a while but we were warned that it tends to run out at the most inconvenient times, like when you're having a dinner party, so it would be wise to have a back up tank.  (thinking like a true american). 

i pull into the gas station, one of the attendants comes over and i tell her that i want to buy a large propane tank and ask how much it will be.  she tells me, i say that's much higher than last time and she says she'll get someone to calculate the right price for me.  a few minutes later, a guy comes over, with his calculator and tells me how much the large tank will be, a little lower than the woman's price, so i say i'll take it.

"you want the large tank?"
"yes, that's right, you know, the one you just priced for me."
"oh, we don't have."

now here is where i get confused.  why did you calculate the price of the big tank, and utilize two employees in the transaction, if you don't have the big tank?!? but that is the quiet side again- the not wanting to disappoint- which inevitably brings me more disappointment and frustration.
but i bought the small tank which was available, and explained to the kids in the car, in true american fashion, that a bird in the and is worth two in the bush.

the final note on preparedness, or lack there of, is about the elevator inspector.  mike has been designing a big library for the university here.  it has been going on for years- from idea to design and funding and building and is scheduled to open in a few weeks.  there is an elevator in the library for handicapped access and therefore, prior to opening, it needs to be inspected.  well, it turns out there is only ONE elevator inspector in uganda.  that's right, in the whole country.  and while there aren't that many elevators in uganda, they are supposed to be inspected annually, so he must be a pretty busy guy.  or i should say, must have been a pretty busy guy, because he just died- unexpectedly.  that's right.  now there are NO elevator inspectors in uganda.  they are having to fly someone in from kenya.  now, where is the planning in that?  was no one thinking, perhaps especially in a fatalistic culture, of apprenticing another elevator inspector, just in case?  i'm just saying.....

so these are the things we laugh about at the end of the day.  and i'm sure on the other end - the lady in the kiosk and the gas station attendant are laughing on their end about the stupid muzungu trying to buy all that airtime and an extra propane tank- "just in case".