this business of growing people. i will always say it's harder than growing babies. so much fun, but hard passionate work. sometimes i look at these people i'm growing (knowing that really, they are growing me) and i see all the years, all the places i've dragged them around this great spinning world. they landed with us- entrusted- gifted- they didn't sign up for us. they didn't choose nomadic. they didn't ask for adventure.
i'm reading some good books right now (trying to) it feels very stereotypical (what i'm reading, for my demographic). but only because there has been a hole waiting for it, a void, an absence of strong women's voices speaking into spirituality.
i read something beautiful today. it was in the introduction to a book, the explanation really of why she had written the book. it was a question, "once you wake up, can you wake up anymore?"
yes! yes absolutely yes. life is a forever waking up. this is one of the gifts i hope i can pass on to my people - the desire to be woke and the search for continual wakening. and to surround ourselves with people and situations and art and writing that challenge us to think differently and broadly. to fight the urge to box things up, to resist our inclination to categorize and sort, but instead to be okay with a different system- with one that can hold options and maybe less order but more acceptance. one with more room, and less tension.
i'm trying to notice the tension. i'm trying to live in this space of internally accepting more and fighting less. for me it's a gummy feeling inside when things are coming from old stale places. i've learned to know when it's there. it's the color of stubbornness. i can see it even in small doses now, sizes that used to be able to hide. now that i know what to look for, i can help myself gently unglue inside. i can follow the thread and look for the old pattern or fear and i can awaken another small part of myself.
it's become more and more important to me as i see my people and i want so badly to give them a better way. but the truth is - i can't. it's their journey. they will have their luminal spaces to traverse. their dark nights of the soul. they will have to wake up again and again and chose if they want to stay awake, if once is enough or if they will chose a life of waking up.
i'm reading some good books right now (trying to) it feels very stereotypical (what i'm reading, for my demographic). but only because there has been a hole waiting for it, a void, an absence of strong women's voices speaking into spirituality.
i read something beautiful today. it was in the introduction to a book, the explanation really of why she had written the book. it was a question, "once you wake up, can you wake up anymore?"
yes! yes absolutely yes. life is a forever waking up. this is one of the gifts i hope i can pass on to my people - the desire to be woke and the search for continual wakening. and to surround ourselves with people and situations and art and writing that challenge us to think differently and broadly. to fight the urge to box things up, to resist our inclination to categorize and sort, but instead to be okay with a different system- with one that can hold options and maybe less order but more acceptance. one with more room, and less tension.
i'm trying to notice the tension. i'm trying to live in this space of internally accepting more and fighting less. for me it's a gummy feeling inside when things are coming from old stale places. i've learned to know when it's there. it's the color of stubbornness. i can see it even in small doses now, sizes that used to be able to hide. now that i know what to look for, i can help myself gently unglue inside. i can follow the thread and look for the old pattern or fear and i can awaken another small part of myself.
it's become more and more important to me as i see my people and i want so badly to give them a better way. but the truth is - i can't. it's their journey. they will have their luminal spaces to traverse. their dark nights of the soul. they will have to wake up again and again and chose if they want to stay awake, if once is enough or if they will chose a life of waking up.
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