four years ago we were heading back home to uganda after our last furlough.
today i woke up in north carolina in the mountains, in another place that feels like home. we have five more months in the states before we pack up and board the plane back home to uganda. it's been a really long furlough. in so many ways i wish we were flying today. i don't want any more time to happen here- i don't want to grow more roots. i don't want my kids to get more attached and have more things to pull up - to ripe out. i feel like we are at that tipping point and i'm afraid of what staying these 5 months will do. that's the truth of it. but zoe needs us here. for these months as she transitions.
we came to our stateside home because zoe needed us to. she was sinking in uganda. we couldn't find her the support she needed and she was miserable. there were no other options. it was the only way. we knew she needed to be re-evaluated and to get into a supportive program, an environment with (as she says) her "brain cousins", like-minded people who understand her. we thank God that she has found that place and she is happy and doing so much better.
next week she will move in to their residential program, one month before she turns 20. what a long, long road that went by in the blink of an eye. i'm on the porch where she used to ride her plastic barney big wheel, and sit criss-cross applesaucse with her white blonde hair memerized by the sound of tree frogs or crickets playing with the inner music of her inner world. this house has been a constant in a constantly shifting world for her and our family and our missionary hearts are so thankful for it.
i've given my notice at work. i have 3 months left to wrap up my time. it feels good to be honest with my patients about who i am and what we are doing. to be able to share my plans. but it's hard to leave too.
then there will be two months between finishing work and getting on the plane. 2 very important months. necessary time. time for decompression. processing. preparation. physcially, spiritually, emotionally, intellecutally. i need this time to breathe. write. space to be. stillness. space with out. space for quiet. and reflection. i am not by nature, a planner. my number on the ennegram tends to go, go, go. always on to the next adventure, next amazing thing. busy and fun. but i've learned that if i don't build in times to sit still and almost force myself to hold hard things and wait, i miss opportunities to grow and learn. this is a part of my 'work'. healing work- that i've learned to respect and even enjoy because it changes me into a healthier version of myself.
the day before we drove down to north carolina, we moved out of our amazing rental townhouse and back in with mikes parents (God bless them!). it is the beginning of our transition home to uganda. their home is our 'pad' - our landing and launching pad. this is the beginning of the launching season.
i am getting reading to launch.
today i woke up in north carolina in the mountains, in another place that feels like home. we have five more months in the states before we pack up and board the plane back home to uganda. it's been a really long furlough. in so many ways i wish we were flying today. i don't want any more time to happen here- i don't want to grow more roots. i don't want my kids to get more attached and have more things to pull up - to ripe out. i feel like we are at that tipping point and i'm afraid of what staying these 5 months will do. that's the truth of it. but zoe needs us here. for these months as she transitions.
we came to our stateside home because zoe needed us to. she was sinking in uganda. we couldn't find her the support she needed and she was miserable. there were no other options. it was the only way. we knew she needed to be re-evaluated and to get into a supportive program, an environment with (as she says) her "brain cousins", like-minded people who understand her. we thank God that she has found that place and she is happy and doing so much better.
next week she will move in to their residential program, one month before she turns 20. what a long, long road that went by in the blink of an eye. i'm on the porch where she used to ride her plastic barney big wheel, and sit criss-cross applesaucse with her white blonde hair memerized by the sound of tree frogs or crickets playing with the inner music of her inner world. this house has been a constant in a constantly shifting world for her and our family and our missionary hearts are so thankful for it.
i've given my notice at work. i have 3 months left to wrap up my time. it feels good to be honest with my patients about who i am and what we are doing. to be able to share my plans. but it's hard to leave too.
then there will be two months between finishing work and getting on the plane. 2 very important months. necessary time. time for decompression. processing. preparation. physcially, spiritually, emotionally, intellecutally. i need this time to breathe. write. space to be. stillness. space with out. space for quiet. and reflection. i am not by nature, a planner. my number on the ennegram tends to go, go, go. always on to the next adventure, next amazing thing. busy and fun. but i've learned that if i don't build in times to sit still and almost force myself to hold hard things and wait, i miss opportunities to grow and learn. this is a part of my 'work'. healing work- that i've learned to respect and even enjoy because it changes me into a healthier version of myself.
the day before we drove down to north carolina, we moved out of our amazing rental townhouse and back in with mikes parents (God bless them!). it is the beginning of our transition home to uganda. their home is our 'pad' - our landing and launching pad. this is the beginning of the launching season.
i am getting reading to launch.
1 comment:
Love to see you when you get back here :)
-Gabs Kyemba
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