dear kids-
2 days ago our pregnant teenage dog lucy gave birth to 8 puppies. it was a combination of amazing and disgusting to see her instinctively navigate their entrance into the world. i watched as she gnawed off the amniotic sac, gulped down the placenta and licked the new pup and the mess left behind while nursing whomever had come before. i sat there thinking about how relatively easy your births were and that glad i am i'm not a dog. well, until 24 hours later when i was dealing with you four kids and your teen and preteen and tween issues. so i have only half the number as lucy- but i think i might rather eat my own afterbirth than take on the tremendous challenge of raising people! yes, in conclusion, lucy has it easier.
i mean can we talk? this business of helping you people grow into healthy, mature, hard working, kind, empathetic, generous people is hard work! this business of letting go of our ideas and ideals and looking and listening for your best and truest selves and then gently guiding you towards that, requires a lot of intentionality and time and energy.
don't get me wrong, i love you more than anything. and i love watching you become yourselves. all differently gifted and challenged. teaching me as much as i teach you. laughing with you. crying with you (or because of you). being annoyed and awed by you. it's all good stuff. but easy it is not.
easier, it is not.
no.
give me your crying infant self any day. give me you as a whinny 2 year old. diapers, wet bed, hours of breastfeeding, sleepless nights, i'll take it over your book reports left until 9pm, failing to hand in your science homework, your eye rolls, teaching you to read with a handful of learning differences, reminding everyone to wear deodorant, asking if you've brushed your teeth......with toothpaste (seriously???) explaining how to write a proper descriptive sentence for your vocab words....again, trying to remember long division and fermentation and how to spell everything, and answering "mom?" 1000 times a day from all 4 voices at once, usually followed by "what am i supposed to eat?"
and please, don't tell me about how tired you are because you played soccer for an hour and 45 minutes after school. don't tell me how you don't have time to set the table and do your homework. don't tell me because i'll give you tired and short on time!
did you people see me tonight practicing made up reading words with one of you while researching sloth habitats with another, and listening to the directions for another one's english assignment and while texting another doctor and a patient about a referral, while knowing that i still haven't gotten zoe dinner?
so guys, when 9:30 rolls around, i'm done.
so no, you better not have any sleep issues in middle school because my best self will be asleep and you don't want who will be waking up to help you back to bed. and you'd better learn to plan that report on sloths to be a daytime activity. at 9:30 i'm done. period. 9:30 is my time. so don't whine about my quick bedtime tuck in, did i mention that i'm done? something else is calling me now- it might be my husband, it might be my bed, it might be work or it might be the latest binge watch pirated TV show, but it sho' isn't going to be you.
yes kids, good night. i love you four little pups fiercely and that afterbirth looked pretty bad so i'll see you at 6:30 am, so we can do it again.
xo
mom
2 days ago our pregnant teenage dog lucy gave birth to 8 puppies. it was a combination of amazing and disgusting to see her instinctively navigate their entrance into the world. i watched as she gnawed off the amniotic sac, gulped down the placenta and licked the new pup and the mess left behind while nursing whomever had come before. i sat there thinking about how relatively easy your births were and that glad i am i'm not a dog. well, until 24 hours later when i was dealing with you four kids and your teen and preteen and tween issues. so i have only half the number as lucy- but i think i might rather eat my own afterbirth than take on the tremendous challenge of raising people! yes, in conclusion, lucy has it easier.
i mean can we talk? this business of helping you people grow into healthy, mature, hard working, kind, empathetic, generous people is hard work! this business of letting go of our ideas and ideals and looking and listening for your best and truest selves and then gently guiding you towards that, requires a lot of intentionality and time and energy.
don't get me wrong, i love you more than anything. and i love watching you become yourselves. all differently gifted and challenged. teaching me as much as i teach you. laughing with you. crying with you (or because of you). being annoyed and awed by you. it's all good stuff. but easy it is not.
easier, it is not.
no.
give me your crying infant self any day. give me you as a whinny 2 year old. diapers, wet bed, hours of breastfeeding, sleepless nights, i'll take it over your book reports left until 9pm, failing to hand in your science homework, your eye rolls, teaching you to read with a handful of learning differences, reminding everyone to wear deodorant, asking if you've brushed your teeth......with toothpaste (seriously???) explaining how to write a proper descriptive sentence for your vocab words....again, trying to remember long division and fermentation and how to spell everything, and answering "mom?" 1000 times a day from all 4 voices at once, usually followed by "what am i supposed to eat?"
and please, don't tell me about how tired you are because you played soccer for an hour and 45 minutes after school. don't tell me how you don't have time to set the table and do your homework. don't tell me because i'll give you tired and short on time!
did you people see me tonight practicing made up reading words with one of you while researching sloth habitats with another, and listening to the directions for another one's english assignment and while texting another doctor and a patient about a referral, while knowing that i still haven't gotten zoe dinner?
so guys, when 9:30 rolls around, i'm done.
so no, you better not have any sleep issues in middle school because my best self will be asleep and you don't want who will be waking up to help you back to bed. and you'd better learn to plan that report on sloths to be a daytime activity. at 9:30 i'm done. period. 9:30 is my time. so don't whine about my quick bedtime tuck in, did i mention that i'm done? something else is calling me now- it might be my husband, it might be my bed, it might be work or it might be the latest binge watch pirated TV show, but it sho' isn't going to be you.
yes kids, good night. i love you four little pups fiercely and that afterbirth looked pretty bad so i'll see you at 6:30 am, so we can do it again.
xo
mom
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.