last night was the prom and i have a confession.
i've had my finger hovering over the "like" button on my friends facebook photos of their beautiful, sweet teens all dressed up together, but i've been unable to push it. why? because it's complicated. because there aren't enough emoticons. because you should be able to click on several - like 'love' and 'sad'.
i knew this day was coming. i've known it for a long time. it is another piece of different. not going to a party. not going to the mall with friends, or the movies. or whatever.
i know different is hard to be around. it's hard to know what to say or do. there are eggshells involved and not walking on them. it's easier to avoid altogether. but for the heart underneath that different skin, those awkward words, what is that world like?
i'll admit that it used to be about me, the loss of things. i would grieve my not getting to go clothes shopping with my daughter because everything was too scratchy. not going to large gatherings because it was too loud. not doing the mani-pedi because it hurts. but i've long let that go. i've learned that it's me that must enter her world. and her world is fun too.
she loves stories and movies with chase scenes. all animals. most sweet things. and anything soft. she loves conversations and asking questions especially questions about people, are they dead or alive, how old they are, where were they born. and she loves music. even parts of music. again and again and again. she's kind to insects and gentle with people, especially people who others aren't gentle with. most of all, she loves to make people laugh.
today is palm sunday. the day that Jesus began His decent to the cross. it was His high point- there was singing, praising, palms waving, hope abounding- even then His humility spoke as He entered jerusalem on a donkey. His humility, not His humanity- because that is not how humanity would have done it. we would have done it in a gilded carriage- reclining while being pulled through the streets. we keep getting it wrong.
Jesus hung out with different. He saw through skin and words and money and health and He looked straight at the heart. He called people out for their inability to do this. He saw in the vulnerable, in the different, an ability for them to see things more clearly. perhaps they were already broken by life. perhaps they couldn't hide behind their skin or status. perhaps they were free-er. perhaps they were real.
i know Jesus loves all of us, but during his 33 years wearing skin, i think He would have especially loved to meet zoe. i think He would have hung out with her. He would have defended her inside out shirt wearing (it is less scratchy). He would have welcomed her questioning. He would have laughed at her jokes, let her help with His miracles, let her sit beside Him and taught her to wash feet. He would have appreciated her spirit of looking out for the least of these. He would have loved her then just as He loves her now- exactly as she is. maybe he would have even taken her to the prom.
zoe has broken me of some of my blindness. my tendency to forget the donkey and look around for a gilded carriage. my ease of getting lost in humanity. my challenge to see different with out pity. to see the reality that our hearts are absolutely beating just the same. that the bodies and minds we borrow for 80-ish years are so inconsequential compared to our spirits which bloom and grow forever.
so it is with a joyful heart that i will push 'like' on the pictures of my friends kids. because i do love them and i do love this day for them. and i will wish instead of pushing both 'love' and 'sad', i could push both 'love' and 'haha' as i imagine Jesus taking zoe to the prom on a donkey, which is of course exactly the way they would go :).
i've had my finger hovering over the "like" button on my friends facebook photos of their beautiful, sweet teens all dressed up together, but i've been unable to push it. why? because it's complicated. because there aren't enough emoticons. because you should be able to click on several - like 'love' and 'sad'.
i knew this day was coming. i've known it for a long time. it is another piece of different. not going to a party. not going to the mall with friends, or the movies. or whatever.
i know different is hard to be around. it's hard to know what to say or do. there are eggshells involved and not walking on them. it's easier to avoid altogether. but for the heart underneath that different skin, those awkward words, what is that world like?
i'll admit that it used to be about me, the loss of things. i would grieve my not getting to go clothes shopping with my daughter because everything was too scratchy. not going to large gatherings because it was too loud. not doing the mani-pedi because it hurts. but i've long let that go. i've learned that it's me that must enter her world. and her world is fun too.
she loves stories and movies with chase scenes. all animals. most sweet things. and anything soft. she loves conversations and asking questions especially questions about people, are they dead or alive, how old they are, where were they born. and she loves music. even parts of music. again and again and again. she's kind to insects and gentle with people, especially people who others aren't gentle with. most of all, she loves to make people laugh.
today is palm sunday. the day that Jesus began His decent to the cross. it was His high point- there was singing, praising, palms waving, hope abounding- even then His humility spoke as He entered jerusalem on a donkey. His humility, not His humanity- because that is not how humanity would have done it. we would have done it in a gilded carriage- reclining while being pulled through the streets. we keep getting it wrong.
Jesus hung out with different. He saw through skin and words and money and health and He looked straight at the heart. He called people out for their inability to do this. He saw in the vulnerable, in the different, an ability for them to see things more clearly. perhaps they were already broken by life. perhaps they couldn't hide behind their skin or status. perhaps they were free-er. perhaps they were real.
i know Jesus loves all of us, but during his 33 years wearing skin, i think He would have especially loved to meet zoe. i think He would have hung out with her. He would have defended her inside out shirt wearing (it is less scratchy). He would have welcomed her questioning. He would have laughed at her jokes, let her help with His miracles, let her sit beside Him and taught her to wash feet. He would have appreciated her spirit of looking out for the least of these. He would have loved her then just as He loves her now- exactly as she is. maybe he would have even taken her to the prom.
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| zoe and friends at 'a night to shine' prom |
zoe has broken me of some of my blindness. my tendency to forget the donkey and look around for a gilded carriage. my ease of getting lost in humanity. my challenge to see different with out pity. to see the reality that our hearts are absolutely beating just the same. that the bodies and minds we borrow for 80-ish years are so inconsequential compared to our spirits which bloom and grow forever.
so it is with a joyful heart that i will push 'like' on the pictures of my friends kids. because i do love them and i do love this day for them. and i will wish instead of pushing both 'love' and 'sad', i could push both 'love' and 'haha' as i imagine Jesus taking zoe to the prom on a donkey, which is of course exactly the way they would go :).
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