I am out on the porch in a rain storm. All I can hear is the rain and the sky. The world is closed and quiet- I am quieted. As it should be. Silenced by what is bigger than i- made small again - so small- as I should be. I have taken long with out writing - with out being here - called out in a message yesterday - 'you are lost' - yes gabi I am. Lost in certain ways from certain places- found in other ways- I hope- or at least searching- at least on a path- moving slowly somewhere. As I guess it should be- for all of us.
Sometimes I feel so unbelievably lucky- like last night - putting children to bed- knowing they are safe- when so many aren't. Thankful for their stories and their little lives that become bigger all the time. Hearing what they love and fear and wait for- so different from each other.
They just got home and piled out of the car in the exact order I would predict. Jude of course was first- organized- ready for what's next - seatbelt off at the gate- hand on the door
- bag on his back. Then Rose - eager to please- small and quick. Then Bryn - takes his time- somewhere in thought- purposeful. Long pause.....then Zoe. Always last- always operating in her own time- bless her- unbound by our impositions - dancing to her own song- one that only she can hear. One I wish I knew - if only to remember - that it's different but beautiful- perhaps like nothing I've ever heard. sometimes I wonder if it's the song of the angels- sung sweet and constant and available but only listened to by those special unbound ones. It is usually through Zoe that I can see my constraint- my limitations.
The rain has stopped. The sky is quiet and the world again is full and loud- as it should be. And slowly i am coming back.
Sometimes I feel so unbelievably lucky- like last night - putting children to bed- knowing they are safe- when so many aren't. Thankful for their stories and their little lives that become bigger all the time. Hearing what they love and fear and wait for- so different from each other.
They just got home and piled out of the car in the exact order I would predict. Jude of course was first- organized- ready for what's next - seatbelt off at the gate- hand on the door
- bag on his back. Then Rose - eager to please- small and quick. Then Bryn - takes his time- somewhere in thought- purposeful. Long pause.....then Zoe. Always last- always operating in her own time- bless her- unbound by our impositions - dancing to her own song- one that only she can hear. One I wish I knew - if only to remember - that it's different but beautiful- perhaps like nothing I've ever heard. sometimes I wonder if it's the song of the angels- sung sweet and constant and available but only listened to by those special unbound ones. It is usually through Zoe that I can see my constraint- my limitations.
The rain has stopped. The sky is quiet and the world again is full and loud- as it should be. And slowly i am coming back.
1 comment:
thank you for the kind words......
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