today the sky was enough

today i walked up monkey hill. it was cool and cloudy and beautiful.  at the top of the hill, even in the fog, i could see lake victoria far off and blurry in the distance.  the sky behind me was a sky i've seen before- when i was 14, zoe's age, on a florida beach.  i remember it well. early morning, cool but in that soon-to-be-hot way, like this morning. and the quiet waves of the gulf coast, the tinkering of small shells falling over each other as the water pulled back, and the feeling of those shell bits mixed with the sand under my feet, and that sky- that sky like today. the sun strong and there but covered with the morning clouds keeping things quiet and still for a while longer.

today when i looked up, there was such comfort in that sky.  the familiar-ness, the memory, the reminder that the creator of that sky is the same as all those years ago when i first saw it. it gave me that safe feeling, of being held and known. of being loved.

i go up the hill to find that space that i seem to need.  i move up that hill to slow myself down.  and to listen for God, to hear Him. today i heard Him in the sky.

I am the same always. I am here. I am strong and consistent.  even when I am covered, obscured, even if you feel far from me, I am here. I am.

that was enough. enough for me to come back down the hill to home and be there for my people. and listen to a gazillion lord of the rings lego's stories, and make breakfast and begin the process of zoe's morning routine with out yelling (okay only a tiny bit of yelling).  it was enough to begin again- this day- here- where i am.