again...the grace

there are seasons, there are times, there are places.  things are never easy. things are never impossible either- in all things there is grace. you know i love the words and wisdom of frederick buechner.  he is able to find the absolute mystery of God, the power of God, in the gentleness and the brokenness of the world and he shares it simply and boldly and humbly with words that reach me. 

words like this....

a good sleep is grace and so are good dreams. most tears are grace.  the smell of rain is grace. somebody loving you is grace. loving somebody is grace.

the list could go on and on- because we find it in different ways and in different places. but it abounds. 

yesterday was a day of my kids, all four of them, having issues in some form or fashion. 

yesterday started with an email from zoe's wonderful school aide entitled "expressions of concern over recent events with zoe".  the grace was her words of praise over how zoe was handling the 'teenage drama' with other girls at school, her concern was about the other girls being mean.  the grace was in the meeting i had at the end of the day with the school special ed teacher and hearing how well zoe is doing over all.  the grace is in zoe's smile when i put her to bed and her giant hug. 

yesterday jude destroyed his halloween toy sword because he was upset about something unrelated and he chose that self-destructive path to manage his anger- he chose to express it by wrecking something he loved.  the grace was in the long talk we had while walking the dog about the acceptability and  beauty of our range of emotions but our need to control our actions around those emotions.  the grace was in hearing him share what's hard about being eight. about being in the middle of the family. about having responsibilities he didn't ask for with zoe for a sister. about sometimes feeling lost.  the grace was in those moments as the sun set of just being with him- listening to his world- letting it just be about him with no one else.

yesterday bryn was crying at pick up because he'd been given a big role in the class production which prompted teasing from his classmates and caused him to refuse the part.  the grace was in walking through it with him. in helping him understand that he needs to chose what he wants to do and how he wants his world to go- and not listen to others teasing. 

yesterday rose's birthmom met with the babies home social worker to hopefully solidify our case so we could go to court for guardianship.  yesterday her mom said she never agreed to let us even take rose out of the country to visit america (a complete turn around from where we've been).  yesterday i sat in the car after hearing that from the lawyer and tried to imagine my life with out our rose which of course i couldn't.  the grace was in knowing that God loves her more even than i do.  the grace was in trusting that. the grace was in knowing that somehow, goodness will come from this. the grace was in remembering that the world is very broken and things are so messy and we do the best we can, and we do it in love.  the grace was in mike and i being on the same page about it.

the grace of God means something like: here is your life. you might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.  here is the world. beautiful and terrible things will happen. don't be afraid. I am with you. nothing can ever separate us. it's for you I created the universe.  I love you. 
there is only one catch. like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it.  maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.

today, what ever comes, may i reach out and take the grace.  may i see it and feel it and smell it and hold it and know it.  may you as well.