even in australia

today was a terrible horrible no-good, very bad day.

i knew it would be when mike was working until 3am today, and we had to wake up at 6.

jude didn't want to eat breakfast. bryn didn't want to get dressed.

zoe didn't want to wake up and eat- but needed to, to go to the eye doctor.

the traffic was bad and we had to park at the top of the lot.

then came the dreaded eye drops- the dilating solution. 

zoe went berserk. i mean at the mere mention of eye drops she began to panic. her toes curled under and her palms got sweaty. she shut her eyes tight and put her folded in half hands over them and clamped down. we had to physically remove them while the drops went it. she cried. she wiggled her voice. she let out tiny quiet shrieks. she muttered "poor poor meh-" in that awful whine. i wanted to throttle her. i couldn't believe that it was really that bad. that she needed to fall apart. that she could handle getting braces, her teeth pulled, and then collapse over eye drops.

i've never had eye drops of any flavor. so what do i know. but she even admitted that the worst part was the memory of them being put in. the self created drama of it- the anticipation and then the happening of her fear. her loss of control. her inability to refuse. and then the fact that now her eyes won't work quite right for the next several hours. maybe in a sensory vulnerable person- this is torture. probably.

i grabbed her by the arm and told her she needed to stop. this was not successful and resulted in, "don't hurt me!" great. just what every mom wants their kid to say at the doctors office. maybe i should have just throttled her after all.
poor little bryn is trying to behave- but he's bored and wants attention and who know how he's processing all this. so he starts to copy her. the little shrieks and whines- but smiling. now i wanted to throttle him too.

at this point, we were supposed to be in the waiting room, waiting for her eyes to dilate. but we hadn't be able to leave the exam room yet. finally - i was able to corral her out- and opened the door onto the side of my bare foot and almost started to cry myself. as zoe walked past the office staff, she stomped her feet and shouted , "i hate the eye doctor- she's so mean!!"

i was seeing red. steam was coming from my ears. i would have been a great looney tunes cartoon. please zoe. just be quiet. just sit and let your eyes dilate and let me stew in my juices. it didn't seem like it should have been that big a deal for me. i kept muttering under my breath, to myself, "special needs- she has special needs".

when they called us back in- she threw a fit again. she threw her doll, she told the other doctor that she thought he was horrible and she tried to fully shut down and not comply with the exam. i warned her that if not, we'd have to come back.

eventually, i suggested she listen to some music on my iphone and Guster saved the day again.

we went for tea at dr. bombays underwater tea house- but there was nothing there without dairy, so we left. then we went to another place for muffins and i forgot my wallet.

we went to the eye glasses store to get glasses and bryn tried on every pair and got mad that he couldn't get glasses. zoe didn't like any of them- except a two-toned rimed pair with flowered arms- which i vetoed.

at home- we were out of garbage bags and i had to go to target. i managed to come home with out one of the bags and had to go all the way back.

it was 97 degrees outside and i still had to pick up jude and drive three tired fussy children 45 minutes to brain balance for zoe's therapy. i wanted a "get out of jail free" card. i wanted a vacation. i wanted to move to australia.

bryn got a stomach ache- jude was horribly mean to me- and luckily zoe got her brain balanced. the cleaners forgot to clean the dog area- and jude finally admitted that he hates kindergarten and doesn't ever want to go back.

it has been a terrible horrible no good very bad day.

mom says some days are like that- even in australia.